It is a good idea to have large public spaces in towns and cities such as parks and squares. Do you agree or disagree? Why?
In
this
contemporary world, it is argued that having enormous public spaces like parks in cities is a great idea. I completely agree with this
statement and in this
essay, I will try to draw some conclusions.
The crucial reason why this
is a great idea is the fact of relaxation. When people
have squares in their towns, they help them to switch their minds off routines and problems and just relax. Moreover
, parks help the public maintain a perfect balance between studying or working time and leisure. When people
see nature (colourful trees, wonderful bushes), they are charged with energy for a long period of time and their mood also
improves. Take my sister as an example. She works as a doctor at the hospital. Whenever she feels that she is tired, Alisa goes to the park, sees these wonderful natural creatures, and, therefore
, she is charged with strength and energy.
Another reason is that people
can have a great time since there are lots of relay races, concerts and public events provided in parks. Humanity will be able to make new acquaintances, meet their future husband or wife, or win a prize. Also
, friends can get together there and have a picnic. What is more, there are many different attractions for people
of all ages. They can fulfil their dreams, like trying street food or riding a roller coaster. And, hence
, squares have a beneficial impact on people
's lives and add some colours to them.
In conclusion, public spaces help humanity to
maintain the work-life balance and add some colour to their lives.Verb problem
apply
Submitted by halilova039 on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, try to use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly. This will make your essay more fluid and easier to follow.
task achievement
Consider expanding your points slightly to provide more depth and clarity. For example, in your second paragraph, briefly explain how relaxation impacts productivity and well-being as this would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples to support your ideas, such as the example of your sister. This makes your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides good closure and a summary of your main points.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite