In today’s world, it is private companies rather than government who pay for and carry out most on scientific reseach. Do you thingk the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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private companies pay
and
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for and
show examples
carry out
on
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apply
show examples
scientific
research
rather than
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
. I believe that
government
should
focuse
Correct your spelling
focus
on scientific
research
.
This
essay will analyse
this
topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On
one
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the one
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hand, there is
drawback
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a drawback
show examples
if the
government
does not
focuse
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focus
with
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on
show examples
scientific
research
because
,
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apply
show examples
they should know about all sectors
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
for scientists.
In addition
,when the
government
give the scientists
this
opportunity, they will surprise them with good
result
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results
show examples
.
For example
, In
China
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China,
show examples
there is
a
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apply
show examples
research
about
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on
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the result of
supporting
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how support
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from the
government
hoe affecting on society.
On the other hand
, the
benifets
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benefits
of funds from private companies
is
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are
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neccessary
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necessary
for people doing the
research
. The private companies can support the studies in
diffrient
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different
ways.
For example
,
Firstly
, they will
supporting
Change the verb form
support
be supporting
show examples
the scientists and give them what they want if
it
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apply
show examples
possible.
scoundally
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Secondly
, give them all
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the appourtunity
show examples
appourtunity
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opportunity
to do
an amazing work
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amazing work
an amazing job
show examples
on the
research
.
Moreover
, when private
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
spend on a great scientific study, they will
puplishing
Correct your spelling
publishing
it,
then
they will
receving
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receive
a lot of money after successful work. In conclusion, there are no easy
answer
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answers
show examples
to
this
question. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe that
government
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the government
show examples
better focus on scientific
research
because it
leds
Correct your spelling
leads
the
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apply
show examples
society to
successful
Add a missing verb
be successful
show examples
.
Submitted by noodi-9 on

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task achievement
Ensure your essay fully addresses the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages more thoroughly. Currently, the essay leans more towards the benefits of government funding without an extensive evaluation of private companies' roles.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by organizing your points more clearly. Use separate paragraphs for each main idea and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
coherence cohesion
Introduce and conclude your essay more effectively. The introduction should clearly state the essay's focus and the conclusion should succinctly summarize your key arguments and restate your opinion in a clear manner.
task achievement
Support main points with relevant and specific examples. Some examples are given, but they need to be more detailed and directly related to the points being made.
task achievement
The essay attempts to discuss the topic from both perspectives, which is a good approach.
task achievement
Efforts to provide specific examples, such as referencing China, show an attempt to substantiate points.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear attempt at forming an introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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