Many young people's choice of future jobs based on salary. Do the advantage outweigh the diadvantages

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These days, money is an important factor in life, so a group of people will select their occupation based on how much salary they will earn.

While

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this

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trend has a range of benefits, I still believe that they cannot overshadow drawbacks. On the one hand, choosing jobs because of their salary has some merits. When the population has a good income, the quality of their lifestyles increases. In fact, in the new era, one crucial factor that provides the best situations for the community is their financial status.

For example

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, we can see most engineers are interested in the arts but they work in various industries owing to the fact that the arts are not an occupation that has security.

On the other hand

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, the demerits of

this

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fashion are so varied.

Firstly

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, if workers do not like their occupation, job satisfaction will reduce but the turnover rates increase.

In other words

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, in

this

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position, employees are searching for a reason to leave their work .

Secondly

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, what is essential is that liking the career creates a chance for workers to improve their efficiency by enhancing their skills and doing several innovations to enhance the level of services or companies' goods.

For instance

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, when teachers love their work, they spend a great deal of time and money to improve their training methods. To summarise, high salaries guarantee the best lives for the population.

However

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, it is a barrier that prevents job satisfaction and decreases the productivity of people inasmuch as they do not spend not only time but

also

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money on developing their skills and creativity.

To conclude

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, the pros of

this

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trend cannot eclipse the cons.

maryamkazemi968Wed Mar 19 2025

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Task Achievement

While your essay presents a clear argument, consider expanding on your examples to make them more relevant and enriching. This could help emphasize your points more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that your ideas transition smoothly by using more linking words or phrases. This helps in making your arguments easier to follow.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial stability
quality of life
ambition
motivation
job dissatisfaction
turnover rates
burnout
demanding working conditions
job security
work-life balance
fulfilling careers
creativity
innovation
market demands
personal interests

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Many young people's choice of future jobs based on salary. Do the advantage outweigh the diadvantages

Fully explain your ideas

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

More and more children are accessing the Internet unsupervised and at a younger age. This can sometimes put them at risk. What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the Internet?

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Your town council has decided to demolish an historic building due to lack of funds to renovate. Write a letter to your counselor . In your letter, you should say: why it is important to preserve the historic building how the funds could be generated.