Some people believe that there are various reasons that can motivate a person to keep working for the same company whereas others say that money is the main reason which gives motivation. Do you agree or disagree?#
The
Correct article usage
A
amount
of Change the quantifier
number
people
thinking
that some reasons make Wrong verb form
think
people
interest
Wrong verb form
interested
to keep
their job Change preposition
in keeping
while
the
other trust that the important thing to motivation is salary, and my opinion Correct article usage
apply
i
agree with Change the capitalization
I
this
statement that
is
a lot of Correct subject-verb agreement
are
factor
which there make Change to a plural noun
factors
people
survive from their work
such
as a wholesome work
environment and distance from home to workplace.
On the one hand, The
Correct article usage
A
health
Replace the word
healthy
work
environment is one of the important things that support worker
to stall motivation to Fix the agreement mistake
workers
work
in a company while
the loyal and friendly co-
Fix the agreement mistake
co-workers
worker
help people
to enthusiastic
go to Change the word
enthusiastically
work
and build a
strong Correct article usage
apply
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
work
to solve problems together. In Addition
, the leader who have
Change the verb form
has
high
Correct article usage
a high
standart
of lead capability Correct your spelling
standard
create
a good atmosphere and occupational balance that Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
it
produce Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
efficiency at Correct article usage
apply
work
.
On the another
hand, some Correct quantifier usage
other
worker
thinking
about the distance between home and workplace is Wrong verb form
think
crucial
reason because of Add an article
the crucial
a crucial
a
time and Correct article usage
the
a
cost Correct article usage
apply
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
for
their commute Change preposition
on
work
. Furthermore
, when the office is far away from their home that make
high expenditure on transport, Change the verb form
makes
for
instance
Add a comma
instance,
worker
could be spend
more than 30% of their pay Change the verb form
spend
for
buy gasoline or public transport cost. Meanwhile, They will Change preposition
to
spent
more time on roads and stuck Change the verb form
spend
on
Change preposition
in
the
traffic where Correct article usage
apply
this
condition direct
to a Verb problem
leads
rising
Replace the word
rise
of
working stress Change preposition
in
level
.
In conclusion, Money is not Fix the agreement mistake
levels
only
main factor that inspiration Correct article usage
the only
people
to keep work
Wrong verb form
working
on
their office. Change preposition
in
However
, there are different reasons that make people
stand to work
such
as the good office environment and the length of distance that worker
reach.Fix the agreement mistake
workers
Submitted by dinih214 on
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas flow smoothly from one to the next.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. This will help in clearly demonstrating your arguments.
task achievement
Work on sentence structure and grammar to avoid small inaccuracies and improve overall clarity.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, which helps in framing the essay well.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task and provides reasons beyond money that motivate people to stay in a job.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.