IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people think that the government should spend money to explore the outer space, while others believe that it’s a waste of public money. Discuss both views and include your own opinion.

#people #government #money #space #it’s #waste
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It is often argued that
people
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 who think that it is a waste of public
money
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 have many reasons for
this
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. But, there are many
people
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 and I am one of them consider that the
government
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 should spend a lot of
money
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 to explore
space
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both opinions.
First,
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people
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 who want the
government
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 to spend public
money
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 have various reasons.
For example
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, they think it is useless to explore outer
space
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 because we will not achieve anything if we know that the black hole can grab anything.
In addition
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, those
people
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 want the
government
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 to spend all the
money
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 on roads or schools, they want something beneficial,
also
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, they have actually a point because the
government
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 did not say anything about why they want to spend public
money
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 on exploring outer
space
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. On the other side.
People
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 like me want to explore many cases because I want to see outer
space
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 because it is like a dream, we only see many images of outer
space
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 but we do not feel it.
Furthermore
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, maybe we will find another planet to live in. Other than that, maybe we will know more things about our universe. In conclusion. In my point of view, I demand that the
government
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 should spend all the
money
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 on exploring outer
space
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. Both views have a good opinion to say,
also
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, there are many advantages and disadvantages on both sides.
Submitted by bcynfn159 on

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, make sure your essay has clear, specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention particular benefits of space exploration, like advancements in technology or scientific knowledge.
coherence cohesion
Focus on improving the logical flow between your paragraphs and ideas. Use transition words and phrases to better connect your points and make the essay easier to follow.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your arguments nicely.
complete response
You did a good job presenting both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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