IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available. Do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?

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The advent of modern technology has changed the world forever, especially the type of
food
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 we eat.
This
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 raises an underlying question of how much these pre-cooked and inexpensive foods are beneficial for us. By considering a bigger perspective, there are more drawbacks than gains in
this
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 new trend which are elaborated in the
further
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 essay. Several disadvantages can be put forth for inexpensive fast
food
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that is
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 available in the market. The predominant cause is that they are not balanced
food
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. Majority of the junk
food
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 is not enough sources of crucial elements that our body needs to function well,
such
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 as vitamins, protein, nutrients and minerals.
As a consequence
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,
people
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 suffer from several chronic diseases,
for example
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, obesity, and type 2 diabetes. A recent survey published by Ontario Health suggests that about 75% of the individuals who rely on packed
food
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 have at least two health-related issues which may take many years to cure. But perhaps, the advantages of fast
food
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 should not be overlooked. The primary reason is that these types of
food
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 have been proven
survivals
Wrong verb form
to survive
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 for many
people
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 across the globe. Countless
people
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 on our earth do not have the means to buy healthy diets every day, and because of that, they buy whatever is affordable to them which can at least fill their stomachs.
To conclude
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,
this
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 new trend of eating pre-cooked meals has a lot of negative aspects to it, as most of these foods are not sufficient sources of crucial elements that the human body requires.
However
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, these types of
food
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 are helpful to
people
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 who cannot afford to buy healthy meals.

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task achievement
Enhance the introduction by clearly stating your thesis and the main points you will discuss in the essay.
task achievement
In the body paragraphs, provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments, particularly in supporting the disadvantages of fast food.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates directly to the thesis statement, helping maintain a logical flow throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using linking words and phrases to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies both advantages and disadvantages of fast food, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments presented in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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