Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?
These days, technology has been developing immediately, so populations can make
food
really fast, but a massive group of people use fast food
instead
of traditional food
. I subscribe to this
idea owing to the fact that most global inhabitants do not have a lot of time for cooking or they do not know how historical foods
cook; however
, it is important that we back traditional meals to save customs.
On the one hand, the fact that technology improves our lifestyles is true; nevertheless
, people who are employees or work outside the home especially
in the metropolises spend a great deal of time on working, transportation, and so on; Add the comma(s)
, especially
as a result
, they do not have time to cook, so their choice are
Convenience Change the verb form
is
foods
. In addition
, fast foods
are selected by young people due to
the fact that they are extremely delicious; therefore
, they do not want to learn traditional foods
recipes.
Change the noun form
food
On the other hand
, the best reason that we have to make traditional dish culture inasmuch as when the citizens of one region have their own foods
in not only their restaurants but also
their houses, they show our customs, climate, agriculture, and so forth that are really fascinating for tourist industries. Furthermore
, traditional foods
are the best selection for having strength and a healthy body and help us to live in a range of areas with various weather. For instance
,communities that live in the
cold regions eat and drink elements whose calories are high.
Correct article usage
apply
to sum up
, fast food
cooking is easy; although
, I think that both our health and culture are essential factors and we should eat traditional foods
more than Convenience one to save these elements.Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well and provides a clear stance. However, it would benefit from more specific examples and further elaboration on the points made. Consider providing concrete instances or studies that support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally clear, but there are areas that could be more logically organized. For example, transitions between some ideas are abrupt. Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to refine your use of linking words and phrases. This will help reinforce the connections between your ideas and provide a more fluid reading experience for the examiner.
introduction conclusion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
You make a clear distinction between the advantages of convenience foods and the cultural importance of traditional foods, which provides a balanced perspective.
supported main points
Your language use is commendable, and you have a good range of vocabulary which enhances the overall readability of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.