Rising university fees and scares employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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It is thought by a selection of individuals that universities should only teach practical
subjects
that can increase the opportunity for employment and those subjects
such
as art, philosophy and history are
need to be dropped Unnecessary verb
apply
due to
an increase in fees scares employment prospects for graduates. From my point of view, I agree with this
notion and my supporting reasons will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching a conclusion.
At the outset, it is undeniable that practical courses
should be taught in universities and one of the most significant reasons is the essential knowledge that students gain from these practical courses
. To elaborate further
, there are many jobs in the job market that require these skills as it is useful and important to our lives. Moreover
, this
knowledge can further
students' study in the future, making
them Verb problem
giving
get
more chances of recruitment. An apt illustration of Verb problem
apply
this
is one of my friends working as a software engineer and still gets a lot of offers from a number of companies because technology these days needs to develop in order to improve our quality of life. Hence
, he told me that he would apply for a Master's degree so that he would get more chances to work in other countries.
Additionally
, another clear upside for my reason is that a large amount of money needs to be spent on improving the quality of the practical ones. To explain in greater detail, courses
such
as engineering and science need laboratories in order to do tests and research. Furthermore
, these courses
have to hire assistants and install security systems to protect their items and materials. To specifically demonstrate, when I was in my last
year at university, my civil engineering department bought a new machine to test the strength of concrete and therefore
they filed an advancement to inform us that they needed to increase fees because of this
machine and hired more staff.
All in all, it is a fact that art subjects
, philosophy and history need to be closed and the money that is
rising should be used mainly on practical subjects
to maximise opportunities of
employment for graduates. In my opinion, I strongly agree with Change preposition
for
this
idea as it can enhance and sharpen the quality of these subjects
. Besides
, knowledge from practical subjects
is a paramount factor for being employed.Submitted by nnatthinee on
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task achievement
Your essay largely meets the requirements of the task. You provide a clear response to the prompt and offer relevant reasons to support your stance. However, to improve, you might want to consider addressing potential counterarguments. For example, you could discuss the value of arts subjects in fostering creativity, critical thinking, and cultural awareness which are also valuable in diverse employment fields.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure with an introduction, main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph is focused on a clear point relevant to the essay question. Nonetheless, ensure each main point is fully supported with specific examples or further explanations, enhancing coherence.
coherence cohesion
Some parts of your essay can be made smoother with better cohesion. For example, using more transitional phrases can help improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Also, consider varying your vocabulary to avoid repetition and maintain reader interest.
coherence cohesion
You have a well-defined structure with an introduction, main body, and conclusion. This makes your ideas easy to follow.
task achievement
Your task response is well articulated with clear and comprehensive ideas. You directly address the prompt and provide reasons for your stance.
task achievement
You successfully use specific examples to illustrate your points, which adds strength to your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example