IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that university education should be free, while others believe students should pay for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #university #education #students
Although
 many people reckon that
students
 should be required to pay for their studies at university, I agree with some groups of society who deny
this
 and think it should be free because fee-based
education
 might ignore social equality. On the one hand,
students
 can feel the value of
education
 if they are required to pay for university.
For example
, in many economically developed countries, most of the universities are on a paid basis, and they give financial aid to only those whose academic achievements deserve
this
.
Moreover
, thanks to the paid educational system, there would be a huge competition in the way of getting financial aid to
students
.
Students
 will study even reluctantly to get into a dream university that gives aid.
However
,
this
 system may negatively affect
students
’ mental health.
On the other hand
, there will be social equality when there is equal access to higher
education
 for all citizens.
For example
, if there is a fee-based educational system, some groups of society will not be able to afford an
education
 for themselves
while
 richer people get an
education
 without any distractions.
Consequently
,
this
 can cause social problems in the country which lead to conflicts. Plus, there are plenty of socially vulnerable but intelligent
students
 who cannot afford paid
education
, and free courses at universities may be effective for them. In conclusion, even if some people believe that fee-based
education
 can enhance the competence among
students
, I reckon that all studies should be free for citizens because it can be seen as a main example of equality.
Submitted by writingiletschecker on

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task response
Work on providing a more balanced view by addressing potential counterarguments more thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows seamlessly to improve overall coherence.
task response
Good introduction that clearly states the position.
coherence cohesion
Strong conclusion that reiterates the main argument effectively.
task response
Relevant examples are provided to support the main points.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported and logically structured.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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