IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

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Nowadays, some
people
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 believe that it is good to give a lot of
information
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 in science, business, and academic areas.
However
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, others think that some
information
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 is very important and should not be shared with everyone. Sharing is about being considerably generous. One of the main benefits of sharing
information
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 is that sharing as much
information
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 as it is possible enables
people
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 to use their time and money more effectively. As technology and online resources continue to evolve, accessing trustworthy content remotely is now simpler than ever. Free
information
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 is needed
to
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for
show examples
 everyone.
For instance
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, to deliver captivating lessons, a teacher regularly seeks innovative ideas and motivation from the web, every day during the learning year. And they all want the
information
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 they need to be easily accessible. Another example is COVID-19 treatment
people
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 could find out on the internet when only a limited number of effective treatment protocols existed, and they were not accessible to everyone.
People
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 were forced to search
treatment
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for treatment
show examples
 by themselves.
On the other hand
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, certain types of
information
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 should require payment because of the significant effort and hard work invested in creating them. In the corporate realm, the sharing of strategic
information
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 can result in a loss of competitive edge. When companies disclose confidential details,
such
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 as marketing strategies, future product plans, or financial approaches, they risk giving their competitors an advantage.
For instance
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, if a company reveals its upcoming innovations prematurely, rival companies may replicate or enhance those ideas before the original company can bring them to market.
To conclude
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 as important
information
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 becomes accessible, others may take advantage by generating income from insignificant sources.
This
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 could lead to a flood of low-quality or misleading content that distracts from valuable knowledge.
As a result
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, it becomes more difficult for individuals to distinguish between genuinely useful insights and
information
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 created purely for profit.

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Task Achievement
The introduction briefly identifies the topic, but it could benefit from a clearer thesis statement outlining your stance.
Task Achievement
The conclusion could be more definitive. Rather than merely stating possible outcomes, try summarizing your main points more clearly and stating a position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and consider linking sentences more explicitly to improve flow between points.
Task Achievement
Some examples are relevant, but further explanation or elaboration on how they support your argument would enhance clarity.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively presents both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
The use of examples, such as the COVID-19 treatment, illustrates the points made and adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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