IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many cities, there are areas of land that are used as parks. With increasing population levels, these areas would be better used to provide more housing. Do you agree or disagree?

#cities #areas #land #parks #population #levels
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The number of inhabitants in many urban
areas
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 is going up
thus
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, some people believe
that is
Linking Words
 necessary to use
areas
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 occupied by
parks
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 to build more houses and apartments to live
.
Change preposition
in.
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 I completely disagree with
this
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 statement because
parks
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 are necessary as recreational
areas
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 and, they are very useful to change the polluted
air
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 from the environment. All the big cities around the world have spaces used as recreational
areas
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 to allow citizens to chill out and rest.
Also
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, do sports and outdoor activities for the whole family who want to enjoy a beautiful day under the sun.
For example
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, Central Park in New York
City
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 is a big green area in the centre of the
city
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 that offers many cultural and outdoor activities for adults and children every day.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, all the
parks
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 because of the number of plants and trees, act as oxygen reservoirs, which is important to change the polluted
air
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 into fresh
air
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, making all people’s lives healthier and, keeping the environment safe. Following the same example, Central Park in New York
City
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,
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apply
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 acts as a
city
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’s lung giving a great amount of fresh
air
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 to a big
city
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 not only polluted even though with noise pollution. It Is well known that trees can absorb the noise making the
areas
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 quieter. In conclusion, even with the increase
of
Change preposition
in
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 population and the necessity of housing, is extremely necessary to have
parks
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 with plants and trees to allow
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families to enjoy outdoorsy activities and, keep the environment safe.
Submitted by daniruspi on

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task achievement
While your essay contains a strong argument, ensure that all points are fully elaborated. Try to address potential counterarguments or other perspectives to strengthen your point.
coherence cohesion
Improve the grammatical accuracy by checking subject-verb agreement and the use of conjunctions. Minor grammatical errors can impact the overall ease of reading.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance and consistently supports it with relevant points and examples.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-articulated and provide a clear framework for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Supporting arguments with specific examples like Central Park makes the essay more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban landscape
  • green space
  • recreational opportunities
  • mental well-being
  • ecosystems
  • urban heat island effect
  • biodiversity
  • water management
  • housing shortages
  • residential development
  • accommodate
  • urban areas
  • population density
  • sustainable development
  • quality of life
What to do next:
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