Nowadays, the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. How does technology affect the types of relationships that people make? Is this positive or negative development?

Nowadays, the method by which many people interact with each other has been changed by technology, which especially has a great impact on
relationships
at a distance. I think
this
is a positive development because it becomes less likely for someone especially those who are physically disabled to be isolated.
First,
modern technology has enabled us to communicate in an instant almost everywhere in the world and made it easier for us to widen our connection with others; portable communication devices
such
as smartphones allow us to establish
relationships
from within the local community to the world.
For instance
, we can now build up a video meeting and cast some messages to anybody via social network services using smartphones or tablets, which helps both establish or maintain good
relationships
with friends, families, and partners over a long distance.
Second,
this
is a preferable advancement for individuals and society because people are now less likely to become alienated from society.
Although
there are few people with the same perspectives and experiences as yours within your local community, there is a way to share
such
perspectives with others at the worldwide level via the Internet,
therefore
, you are unlikely to feel lonely and more likely to contribute to society compared to the situations in the past era.
For example
, the internet allowed those who are physically disabled to communicate with others and to work at home, which minimized their mental and physical stresses.
Finally
, in conclusion, modern technological advancements, like internet-based video calls, have revolutionized communication; these innovations have expanded social networks and facilitated long-distance
relationships
, and they particularly benefit individuals with physical disabilities by enhancing their community participation, marking a positive step in social connectivity.
Submitted by kana_ayaki on

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task response
While the essay is well-structured and the argument is clear, try to elaborate a little more on the examples given. Providing more specific instances or case studies can add depth to your arguments.
coherence*cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To enhance coherence, consider using more transition words and phrases to better link your ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence*cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both strong, clearly stating the main arguments of the essay.
task response
The essay includes relevant examples and maintains a clear and comprehensive argument throughout.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interact
  • Social media platforms
  • Networking
  • Instant messaging
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Misunderstandings
  • Emotional context
  • Superficial connections
  • Deceptive identities
  • Privacy concerns
  • Social skills
  • Video calls
  • Online presence
  • Digital communication
  • Cyber relationships
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