IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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In the modern age, people think that many subjects
such
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 as painting and drawing in
art
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classes
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 leading to a child’s growth are as important as others,
therefore
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, it should be compulsory in high schools. Personally,
this
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 writer agrees with
this
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 statement and will demonstrate the reason why in the following essay. First of all, many
art
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classes
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 can help
children
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 improve their
creativity
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 and imagination.
This
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 means that when they draw or paint a beautiful picture, people can easily see the determination and
creativity
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 of
children
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.
As a result
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,
children
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 will be more active in
art
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classes
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 when they are painting and drawing.
For example
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, many schools in many countries are now encouraging
children
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 to paint or draw to create a competition for them to enhance their
creativity
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.
Furthermore
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,
art
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classes
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also
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 improve
children
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’s cognitive development.
This
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 is because they stimulate the brain and can improve cognitive functions.
Moreover
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, painting and drawing require not only
creativity
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 but
also
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 critical thinking and problem-solving skills, which are transferable to other academic subjects.
Consequently
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, it is simple for
children
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 to showcase their talent in the school. Take my country as a prime example, where many schools always prior many
art
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classes
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 in order to create a place for
children
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 to participate in and share their
creativity
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 with other
children
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 in
art
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classes
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 to improve their ability in painting and drawing. In conclusion,
due to
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 the importance of
art
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classes
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 including painting and drawing, principles should add more periods
for
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so
show examples
children
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 who are involved in painting and drawing can show their talents.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that you are consistent in your argumentation and avoid repetitive points. This will help in maintaining clarity.
task achievement
Expand on specific examples to make your arguments more compelling. Providing concrete details can strengthen your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Your main points are relevant and supported with examples, which effectively contribute to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Emotional expression
  • Mental health
  • Cultural awareness
  • Diversity and inclusion
  • Fine motor skills
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Academic performance
  • Artistic engagement
  • Career opportunities
  • Creative fields
  • Graphic design
  • Architecture
  • Game development
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