Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?
2
Because of having
profound
impact on children’s growth, whether Add an article
a profound
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
classes
ought to be compulsory for high Use synonyms
Use synonyms
schools’
Change noun form
schools
students
or not is a controversial problem. Use synonyms
Although
it affects seriously Linking Words
on
a child’s development, Change preposition
apply
this
writer disagrees with Linking Words
this
idea Linking Words
due to
wasting Linking Words
time
and Use synonyms
difficult
future career.
It is acknowledged that learning Correct article usage
a difficult
arts
in high school is Use synonyms
time
-consuming. As Use synonyms
students
in high Use synonyms
schools
have various tasks and homework to do, adding a subject might put more pressure on them. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, studying in Linking Words
senior
institution relates to future Correct article usage
a senior
career
, so Fix the agreement mistake
careers
that
teenagers need more Correct word choice
apply
time
and concentration on their main subjects Use synonyms
instead
of painting or drawing. Taking Vietnam as an example, most high Linking Words
schools
focus on fundamental skills, Use synonyms
such
as literacy and numeracy, but do not have Linking Words
time
for Use synonyms
arts
. Use synonyms
Therefore
, art Linking Words
classes
take Use synonyms
students
’ Use synonyms
time
which they can use for other valuable activities.
Use synonyms
However
, some supporters argue that Linking Words
arts
help the young to be more creative, Use synonyms
in other words
, they can develop their creativity and ordinary. Linking Words
Additionally
, Linking Words
students
are able to express their feelings and reduce negative emotions. Use synonyms
Although
Linking Words
this
opinion has its own right, Linking Words
schools
Use synonyms
also
organize outdoor activities for people to take a rest and encourage social skills. Linking Words
Thus
, it is unnecessary to force Linking Words
students
to learn Use synonyms
arts
.
Another reason Use synonyms
needs
to be understood is that there are not many well-paid occupations for artists. Because the amount of jobs and a good working condition for Correct pronoun usage
that needs
arts
are quite rare, many learners do not choose to go for them and prefer practical ones, for Use synonyms
instant
, finance or Replace the word
instance
medical
. Replace the word
medicine
According to
a survey in Ho Chi Minh Linking Words
city
, the job having the highest number of employees relates to finance. Capitalize word
City
Hence
, art Linking Words
classes
are not a prior choice for Use synonyms
students
to focus on.
Taking all into consideration, art Use synonyms
classes
should not be a compulsory subject. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
schools
still need to hold artistic activities to develop Use synonyms
potential
abilities of Correct article usage
the potential
students
.Use synonyms
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that transitional phrases are used consistently to improve the flow of ideas between paragraphs. For instance, use 'On the other hand' to present contrasting ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Discuss counterarguments more comprehensively and refute them logically where necessary. This can help to demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear standpoint with logical reasoning, which underscores the author's point of view convincingly.
coherence cohesion
A well-structured introduction and conclusion, which help frame the essay effectively. The essay begins with a clear thesis statement and concludes by reiterating the main points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example