IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Computer and ai technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

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The number of people using artificial intelligence and computers is increasing in the educational stages of the
internet
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.
This
Linking Words
 writer agrees that online education can involve logic-based thinking
instead
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 of addicting teenagers to
games
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 or social media. The sense of advantage can be that
students
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 will learn by watching real-life images or cut scenes so they can acknowledge the information about the topics.
Moreover
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, they can see the gap between theory and practical ways when their tutors show some films, or at least the teachers will find it easier to educate their
students
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, and
this
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 makes learning experiences more attractive.
For example
Linking Words
, when they learn about the environment or another hot topic in articles or on the
internet
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, if their educators just tell them about the theory of the causes and solutions, their
students
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 can be distracted and not take a deep look at that teaching presentation,
although
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 the ones using AI or films on the
internet
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 for teaching can improve
students
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’ understanding.
However
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, distracting ingredients
such
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 as
games
Use synonyms
 or social media can make learners become distracted and addicted. When teenagers search for information on the
internet
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 or take
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
online courses, there are so many advertisements about
games
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 and toys, and
this
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 problem can sidetrack
students
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 and make them feel more likely to enjoy playing
games
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 rather than studying or finishing their schoolwork.
Such
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 as the decreasing academic achievement when COVID-19 occurred.
Consequently
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, many
students
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 were distracted and became addicts by using computers without their parents’ notice. In conclusion, artificial intelligence can have a positive effect on the learning experience and involve
students
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’s
logic
Replace the word
logical
show examples
 minds.
Although
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 they have big benefits, they still distract teenagers and make them addicts.

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coherence
Enhance clarity by focusing on a singular stance throughout the essay, and avoid contradicting statements to ensure a coherent argument.
cohesion
To further improve, use transition words and phrases more effectively to create smoother connections between your ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Expand on examples by providing more detailed instances or data to support your arguments. This will help in fostering a deeper understanding for the reader.
style
Maintain a formal tone consistently throughout the essay to align with the academic nature of the IELTS writing task.
task response
Your essay successfully addresses the prompt, providing a balanced view on the use of artificial intelligence in education.
structure
You've used a logical structure that helps guide the reader through your argument, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
content
The essay contains relevant examples that support your main points, which is effective in illustrating your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized learning
  • adaptive learning
  • learner's pace
  • AI-driven analytics
  • targeted instruction
  • interactive content
  • virtual reality
  • automate
  • administrative tasks
  • human interaction
  • social skills
  • data privacy
  • over-reliance
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
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