It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In
this
modern era, it is essential to save money
for every age group of people
for the greater good. I largely agree with this
statement due to
saved money
will be useful in hard times
and they will provide for their family in emergencies.
To commence with, if everyone started saving money
for their future they could not live their life
in the present. To explain, gathering valuable items or investing money
can not give guaranteed happiness, as each and every person needs to live their life
in the present and enjoy every moment of their life
using their earnings. Therefore
, spending money
can only give satisfaction and enjoyable moments with their loved ones.
On the other hand
, when an individual saved money
they thought It could be very useful in hard times
. To elaborate, Nowadays, every human wants to save money
for their bad time, as they can do so much more than spend on their enjoyment. For Instance
, data published by a big investment firm called Policybazzar indicates that 77% of Indian people
want to save a small amount of money
from their earnings for their bad times
.
Moreover
, If any urgent emergency occurs in the family saving will be a gift for middle-class people
. In other words
, majority of the people
hope they will never find any medical emergency or any kind of situation when they need to spend a tremendous amount of money
for themselves or for their family members. But, if an individual has enough savings they can survive that kind of situation. For example
, a survey conducted by the Time of India shows that 62% of Indian youth save money
for their family emergency.
To conclude
, although
spending money
can give satisfaction and motive to live a happy life
, I believe that hard times
and family emergencies will be fulfilled by saving a little bit of money
.Submitted by birenp046 on
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task response
Your essay addresses the topic and presents a clear position, but it could be more balanced. Consider discussing in more detail the perspective of enjoying the present moment, while also addressing how to find a balance with saving for the future.
coherence and cohesion
There are logical transitions between points, but at times the argumentation could be more fluid. Ensure each paragraph logically leads into the next and support your points with clear reasoning.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion, which are both clear and linked to your argument. Nevertheless, make sure your conclusion does not introduce new points; instead, synthesize what you have discussed.
task response
You generally support your ideas with relevant examples, which strengthens your argument. Ensure your examples are diverse, considering different perspectives and situations to give a more rounded view.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are complex, but the clarity could be enhanced with simpler structures in some places. Revising for grammar and sentence structure will improve readability.
task response
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your arguments, clearly stating your position on the topic.
task response
You have included specific data and examples, such as the Policybazzar and Times of India references, which add credibility to your points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay flows well from one point to another, with logical transitions that guide the reader through your thinking process.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and aligns with the essay's introduction and body paragraphs.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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