Some people believe that there are various reasons that can motivate a person to keep working for the same company whereas others say that money is the main reason which gives motivation. Do you agree or disagree?#

#people #person #company #money #reason #motivation

Working in the same place is an option for

employees

. Some

employees

argue that staying in the same

working place

Correct your spelling

workplace

show examples

is not worth

without

Correct pronoun usage

it without

show examples

an additional reward or salary. I disagree with

this

opinion, as good

employees

not only consider money but

also

convenience and self-development. In order to keep the

work

quality as good as possible, there is a convenient aspect

such

as friendship.

This

is the

relation

Replace the word

relationship

show examples

between the

employees

and their

work

colleagues

. After

experiencing

Verb problem

spending

show examples

a lot of time together,

work

colleagues

can become friends outside the company.

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

frienship

Correct your spelling

friendship

between

employees

can maximize

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cooperation, leading to a better social environment

Change preposition

in that

show examples

that

Correct word choice

where

show examples

indivduals

Correct your spelling

individuals

can support each other.

For instance

, if they do not have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

expertise in IT fields, but their

colleagues

do, it is better to exchange their

task

Fix the agreement mistake

tasks

show examples

with each other. The other benefit is the chance to learn new skills in the

work

environment,

while

they are working. Learning new skills can increase their

carrers

Correct your spelling

careers

career

to the next level,

such

as leadership and

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

show examples

Moreover

, to become a manager at

company

Correct article usage

a company

show examples

these abilities are required.

For example

, senior software engineers who have worked for 10 years can upgrade their

carrers

Correct your spelling

careers

carriers

into project managers, as they can determine tasks to do for

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

improvement,

then

divide these to the software engineers. In conclusion, money is not the only reason to

work

at the same place. There are other reasons,

such

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

with

colleagues

and self-improvement that can increase the convenience in the

work

environment.

Therefore

, staying in one company is not bad at all.

Submitted by ivannizar on Wed Sep 04 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that all ideas are fully expanded upon and examples are provided to illustrate points more comprehensively. For instance, the example about friendship and task exchange could be detailed further.

coherence cohesion

Double-check the essay for minor grammatical errors and typos to maintain fluency and accuracy. The errors in this essay include 'frienship' instead of 'friendship', 'carrers' instead of 'careers', and 'futhermore' instead of 'furthermore'.

coherence cohesion

Further improve logical flow by using more varied linking words and phrases. For example, instead of using 'for instance' and 'for example' repetitively, alternate with phrases like 'such as' or 'to illustrate'.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarize the main points discussed.

task achievement

You provided relevant specific examples that help to illustrate your points, such as those about friendship and career development.

coherence cohesion

The main points are well-supported and logically structured, enhancing readability and understanding of the argument.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

motivation
job satisfaction
personal fulfillment
career development
growth opportunities
continuous learning
training
promotions
positive work environment
supportive management
good relationships
colleagues
benefits
perks
health insurance
retirement plans
flexible working hours
company culture
values
recognition
rewards
job security
stability
economic uncertainty
employee loyalty

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Some people believe that there are various reasons that can motivate a person to keep working for the same company whereas others say that money is the main reason which gives motivation. Do you agree or disagree?#

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IIt is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some employers believe that job applicants' social skills are more important than their academic qualifications. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.