IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below gives information about birth and death rates in Switzerland from 1970 to 2020 according to United Nations statistics. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about birth and death rates in Switzerland from 1970 to 2020 according to United Nations statistics. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart illustrates Switzerland's birth and
death
Use synonyms
 rates during the period 1970 to 2020.
This
Linking Words
 data is obtained from United Nations statistics. It is obvious that Switzerland's births had a gradual increase from 1970 to the end of the year 2020.
While
Linking Words
 the
death
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 decreased slightly from the middle of the period to the end of 2020. Turning to births, the largest
rate
Use synonyms
 of birth was in 2020 which reached a peak at more than three
million
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
death
Use synonyms
 people were just under one
million
Use synonyms
 in the same year. At the start of the period, the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
 of Switzerland births in 1970 with little more than one
million
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the
death
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 was exactly one
million
Use synonyms
. In the year 1995, the peak of
death
Use synonyms
 individuals reached a high of 1.5
million
Use synonyms
. In 2020, United Nations statistics indicated a huge difference between deaths and breaths.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words death, rate, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • birth rate
  • death rate
  • fluctuation
  • demographic
  • peak
  • trough
  • trend
  • incremental
  • statistical
  • longitudinal
  • population growth
  • life expectancy
  • fertility rate
  • mortality rate
  • aging population
  • demographic shift
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