In the modern world, more and more young people tend to stay home and avoid going out for outdoor activities. There are many reasons for this. However, in the essay, I will mention two main reasons as well as two solutions to deal with the issue.

In the modern world, more and more young

people

Use synonyms

tend to stay home and avoid going out for outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

. There are many reasons for

this

Linking Words

However

Linking Words

, in the essay, I will mention two main reasons

as well as

Linking Words

two solutions to deal with the issue.

To begin

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with, young

people

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avoid participating in outdoor

activities

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on weekends mainly to relax. In modern society, the workload and working

time

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for the

youth

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have doubled. For that reason, young

people

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are tired of communicating and interacting with

people

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while

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they are in a resting state. Another reason is that there are a lot of home

activities

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for the

youth

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such

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as watching movies on streaming services or jogging with virtual reality devices. The development of

technology

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decreases

people

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’s desire to do

activities

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outside the door.

Consequently

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, it is undeniable that mentality and

technology

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transform young

people

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’s thoughts about doing outdoor

activities

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on weekends and holidays.

Firstly

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, many young

people

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choose to avoid outdoor

activities

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during their free

time

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primarily to unwind. The demands of modern life, including extended work hours and increased pressure, often leave them feeling exhausted and in need of rest.

Consequently

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, they may opt to relax at home

instead

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of engaging in social interactions or physical

activities

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Additionally

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, the plethora of indoor entertainment options,

such

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as streaming movies or using virtual reality devices for exercise,

further

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diminishes their inclination傾向 to go outside. The rapid advancement of

technology

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has undeniably altered how young

people

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perceive and prioritize outdoor

activities

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. Some actions should be taken to encourage

youth

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to participate in outdoor

activities

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. First and foremost, enriching the variations of outdoor

activities

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For instance

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, some competitions could be aimed at the

youth

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and provide good rewards to attract attention. Another effective resolution is to advocate the advantages of outdoor

activities

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According to

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research from a prestigious institution in the US, outdoor

activities

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can improve

people

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’s depression and mood of anger.

As a result

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, providing innovative

activities

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for the

youth

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and convincing them to adopt the thought is the most significant way to encourage young

people

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to participate in outdoor

activities

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. In conclusion, young

people

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avoid spending

time

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on outdoor

activities

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in their free

time

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, leading to an issue for the modern world. The critical reasons for the phenomenon are connected to mentality and

technology

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Therefore

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, enriching the variations of outdoor

activities

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and advocating their advantages should be encouraged to the

youth

Use synonyms

cba8887

Sep 5, 2024

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task response

Try to develop each point more thoroughly and provide more specific examples to elaborate your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are logically developed within paragraphs. Using transition words can help improve the flow between ideas.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion well.

task response

Your ideas are relevant to the topic, and you have identified both reasons and solutions, which shows a balanced approach.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

401 words

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In the modern world, more and more young people tend to stay home and avoid going out for outdoor activities. There are many reasons for this. However, in the essay, I will mention two main reasons as well as two solutions to deal with the issue.

The spread of a ‘global language’ such as English will threaten national languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that young people should spend more of their free time at home with their families, and spend less time entertaining outside. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that being born with black skin, Jewish blood and India as hometown are some worst features for any individual. What extent do you agree?

Some people say that what children watch influences their behaviour. Others believe the amount of time they spend on television influences their be haviour most. Discuss both vie ws and give your opinion.