Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period instead of going directly to study at university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It’s argued among individuals that high school graduates should go through a gap

year

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instead

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of directly going to college. In my perspective,

minors

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should start to study at university first

instead

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of wasting a

year

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off.

Firstly

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, travelling and working is a huge chance that not everyone takes advantage of. By travelling and visiting multiple countries,

minors

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would gain lots of knowledge and experiences. Especially alone, graduates would get to meet crutical numbers of

people

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, they could gain information about cultures, traditions and languages.

In addition

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, travelling helps young

people

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become more independent and confident when facing new situations.

On the other hand

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, working

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apply

show examples

plays a huge part in building a minor’s personality, in which they learn how to deal with harsh situations. They may

also

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improve their communication skills and learn how to work with different kinds of

people

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However

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, a gap

year

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may affect negatively on

minors

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. By taking a

year

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off, children would waste it on parties and night-outs, which results in being surrounded by the wrong

people

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Furthermore

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minors

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won’t think twice of returning to studying again and would prefer to skip uni and enjoy their time.

Also

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, skipping a

year

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may damage

minors

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financial sum, because of not being able to control the amount of money spent on going out and travelling.

Moreover

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, some students may forget important study skills and find it difficult to adapt to university life after a long break from education.

To conclude

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, between the advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with balancing life between studies and travelling, rather than taking a

year

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off.

jmjk543

May 30, 2026

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task response

Answer both sides in a more even way. You talk more about the gap year and less about going to university at once.

task response

Add one clear example to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger.

task response

Your main view is clear, but it changes a little at the end. Keep one clear opinion from start to finish.

coherence and cohesion

Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.

coherence and cohesion

Some links are not smooth. Use simple words like first, also, however, and in conclusion in a clear way.

coherence and cohesion

A few ideas need more explanation, so each point feels complete.

coherence and cohesion

You have a clear introduction and a short conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a basic paragraph structure, and the order of ideas is easy to follow.

task response

You answer the main topic and give some good points about travel, work, and study.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

high school graduates
travel
work
study
university
advantages
disadvantages
personal development
cultural development
practical skills
experience
independence
responsibility
career options
academic progression
financial constraints
networking opportunities
continuous
opportunity to specialize
resources
guidance
lack of
pressure
stress
flexibility

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