To achieve personal happiness, the relationships we have with other people (friends, colleagues, family) are more essential than every other thing. Issues like wealth and occupations take the second place. Write to support this claim.

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The growing pressures of the money-driven world we live in widely cause the gravitation towards material items.
However
, personal delight is not achieved through things like work, wealth, and success. Though these things may be attractive and coveted, it does not refute the fact that relationships with friends, colleagues, and family members are the genuine secrets to living happily.
This
will be proven by bringing up the topic of wealthy superstars who steadily live lonely lives and advice from elderly
people
based on experience.
Firstly
, happiness is not something anyone can buy with a huge amount of money and material prosperity.
For instance
, there are many famous
people
and billionaires who do not have partners or close acquaintances
although
they have enough resources to afford everything. Sadly, some of them even suffer unspoken mental problems without anyone who can help them, which can eventually lead to drug abuse and suicide.
Thus
,
this
makes it clear that personal enjoyment is achievable by non-material things like having a close bond with friends and family.
Secondly
, elderly
people
have been through enough life lessons in life and they can be role models for the younger generations. One of many great wisdoms we can learn from elderly
people
is that humans are social beings who like to be surrounded by their loved ones, regardless of their material prosperity.
Hence
, their natural instinct can not be replaced by any amount of money
as well as
social status.
Finally
,
this
becomes apparent that wealth is not the main criterion to reach contentment, but social bonds are. In conclusion, it is agreeable that social bonds are the most important aspect of someone's well-being as genuine happiness can never be bought by wealth and everyone gets to realise
this
when they become old. Even
people
with abundant
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
of richness can afford happiness with their money.
Submitted by pink panther on

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logical structure
Ensure that introduction and conclusion paragraphs succinctly introduce and summarize the main arguments, respectively.
single idea per paragraph
Maintain clear topic sentences in each paragraph and develop them with relevant examples and detailed explanations.
complete response
Fully address the question prompt, ensuring that you not only state your position but also expand on it with clear and relevant points that directly support your statement.
coherence cohesion
Aim to use a wide range of cohesive devices (linking words) appropriately to ensure the smooth flow of ideas and overall coherence.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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