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Band 1.5

The two maps detail the information on before and after development of city between 1995 and now.

#two #maps #detail #information #development #city
The two maps detail the information
on
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apply
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before and after
development
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the development
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 of
city
Correct article usage
the city
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 between 1995 and now.
Overall
, the
city
 has become more modern with several public facilities at the expense of green
are
Correct your spelling
areas
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 and
factory
Fix the agreement mistake
factories
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. From 1995 to now, the
city
 centre
saw
Wrong verb form
has seen
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 spectacular developments.
However
,
cafe
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a cafe
the cafe
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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located southeast site has not changed over the period. The golf to the north-east was totally transformed
to
Change preposition
into
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 farmland. The tennis courts to the
south-east
Correct your spelling
southeast
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 were constructed. The houses to the
north-west
Correct your spelling
northwest
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 of the
city
 were enlarged. There was a shop in 1995 but there has been built new restaurant. Another striking change has been
construction
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the construction
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 of a new fishing port. One interesting development has been the demolish of
car
Add an article
the car
a car
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 park which
located
Add a missing verb
is located
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 to the
south east
Correct your spelling
southeast
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 of the
city
.
Submitted by elbayevazamat on

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coherence cohesion
Try to provide a clearer introduction and conclusion to frame your essay better. This will help in creating a more cohesive structure. For example, you may restate the purpose of the maps briefly in the conclusion.
general
Pay attention to small grammatical errors and typos, such as 'green are' instead of 'green area' and 'demolish' instead of 'demolition'. These small mistakes can impact the overall clarity of your essay.
task achievement
Elaborate a bit more on some of the changes mentioned to provide a more comprehensive analysis. For example, you can discuss how the construction of the tennis courts replaces certain areas or how the enlargement of houses impacts the layout of the city.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses the main changes shown in the maps, including removing green areas and adding new facilities like houses and tennis courts.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow to the essay, with different parts of the city being discussed in a structured way.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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