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Band 5

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding changes. Others, howevere think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #lives #changes #howevere #change
There is no doubt, that
changes
 present in our lives;
however
, not all
people
 accept it, trying to live in a familiar way. I suggest, that
changes
 are good
atributes
Correct your spelling
attributes
 and in
this
essey
Correct your spelling
essay
 will observe
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
 and positive sides of the phenomenon.
To begin
 with, some
people
affraid
Correct your spelling
afraid
new
Change preposition
of new
show examples
 things because they are could be
dangerouse
Correct your spelling
dangerous
.
In other words
, other rules or technologies may lead to unpredictable negative
outcoms
Correct your spelling
outcomes
outcome
 for some
people
 who work
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 old
fasion
Correct your spelling
fashion
 manner.
For instance
, the development of artificial
intellegens
Correct your spelling
intelligence
 vanished
many
Change preposition
in many
show examples
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
,
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the situation when manufacturing went from
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 to China increased the level of unemployment in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
. Alternatively, if
people
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
thinks
Correct your spelling
thing
show examples
, they can plan their lives, take
martages
Correct your spelling
mortgages
marriages
 and loans and send
children
Correct pronoun usage
their children
show examples
 to universities.
As a result
, avoiding
changies
Correct your spelling
changes
 has
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 risks and more realistic planning
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
changies
Correct your spelling
changes
 could be considered as a way of development.
This
 is because, new technologies or inventions may raise
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 performance of
people
 or mechanisms, or could increase personal skills. To illustrate
this
, I have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 friend, who was
simple
Add an article
a simple
show examples
 worker and achieved
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
show examples
 profession and eventually
fount
Correct your spelling
found
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 job with two times
more
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 salary,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 proves the positive effect of
changes
.
In contrast
, if new abilities of
thechnics
Correct your spelling
technology
 did not give
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to improve something, nobody would
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 energy on it. So, If you want to get
possibility
Add an article
the possibility
a possibility
show examples
 to reach success you
sould
Correct your spelling
should
could
 implement some
changes
 in your life. In conclusion, I understand that doing the same
thinks
Correct your spelling
things
show examples
 has advantages
such
 as stability and less stress;
however
, I believe that the transition from
old
Add an article
the old
an old
show examples
 way of
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 something to
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
 one is always good because it is development.
Submitted by sergeybelov83 on

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grammar
Work on reducing grammatical errors and improving punctuation. This would make your writing clearer and more polished. Review rules for articles ('a' and 'an'), verb tenses, and subject-verb agreement.
vocabulary
Enhance your vocabulary to refine your arguments and make them more persuasive. Some spelling errors are noticeable and need attention. Using a variety of synonyms and expressions will improve the quality of your text.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes it easy to follow the arguments presented.
arguments
You provide relevant examples to support your points, which helps in making your argument more concrete and relatable.
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