In some countries, online shopping is gradually replacing in-store shopping. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative impacts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, online shopping has increased significantly in many parts of the world and tends to replace offline stores. Some argue that
this
trend offers advantages,
such
as expanding the target market and introducing new
brands
via social media platforms.
However
, others believe that it may lead to negative effects, particularly for older citizens and traditional
markets
.
This
essay will discuss these two perspectives and provide my opinion. On the one hand, there are several benefits to online shopping.
Firstly
, it can help entrepreneurs expand their businesses.
In other words
, business owners have the opportunity to increase their revenue through online marketplaces. McDonald's is an excellent example of
this
. Previously, the company relied heavily on offline sales, meaning that its revenue depended on the number of customers visiting physical locations
such
as malls or department stores. Now, after utilizing online platforms, McDonald's has doubled its revenue. Another advantage is that the Internet plays a significant role in promoting new
brands
, particularly for small and medium-sized enterprises. In Indonesia,
for instance
, many businesses thrive online. New
brands
like Olive Chicken have become popular among urban dwellers
due to
their promotions on social media sites.
Therefore
, the positive impacts of online shopping are evident.
On the other hand
, the drawbacks of online shopping are undeniable. Many individuals, especially the older generation, tend to feel frustrated because they cannot adapt to new technologies.
Consequently
, those who sell in traditional
markets
may not earn as much as they used to.
Due to
the increasing presence of online vegetable businesses,
for example
, many traditional
markets
have experienced a reduction in customers who prefer to buy items online.
Moreover
, shopping malls have seen a decline in visitors compared to the past.
Thus
, online shopping clearly presents disadvantages for both consumers and sellers, especially those in traditional
markets
. In conclusion,
while
online shopping has merits
such
as expanding business opportunities and promoting new
brands
, it
also
has negative effects, particularly for people who are unfamiliar with technology and sellers in traditional
markets
. In my opinion, offline stores should adapt to and adopt new technologies if they do not want to fall behind.
Submitted by salwafahanim on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured, ensure to vary sentence structures to maintain reader interest and avoid monotony.
task achievement
The examples used are relevant and effective; however, try to diversify examples by mentioning a wider variety of industries or products.
task achievement
The essay clearly discusses both perspectives on online shopping, providing a balanced view.
task achievement
The use of relevant and specific examples adds credibility and clarity to the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay, with clear topic sentences and supporting details, enhances readability.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and the conclusion are present and effectively summarize and encapsulate the main points discussed in the essay.

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