In some countries, online shopping is gradually replacing in-store shopping. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative impacts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, online shopping has increased significantly in many parts of the world and tends to replace offline stores. Some argue that

this

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trend offers advantages,

such

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as expanding the target market and introducing new

brands

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via social media platforms.

However

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, others believe that it may lead to negative effects, particularly for older citizens and traditional

markets

Use synonyms

This

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essay will discuss these two perspectives and provide my opinion. On the one hand, there are several benefits to online shopping.

Firstly

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, it can help entrepreneurs expand their businesses.

In other words

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, business owners have the opportunity to increase their revenue through online marketplaces. McDonald's is an excellent example of

this

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. Previously, the company relied heavily on offline sales, meaning that its revenue depended on the number of customers visiting physical locations

such

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as malls or department stores. Now, after utilizing online platforms, McDonald's has doubled its revenue. Another advantage is that the Internet plays a significant role in promoting new

brands

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, particularly for small and medium-sized enterprises. In Indonesia,

for instance

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, many businesses thrive online. New

brands

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like Olive Chicken have become popular among urban dwellers

due to

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their promotions on social media sites.

Therefore

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, the positive impacts of online shopping are evident.

On the other hand

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, the drawbacks of online shopping are undeniable. Many individuals, especially the older generation, tend to feel frustrated because they cannot adapt to new technologies.

Consequently

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, those who sell in traditional

markets

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may not earn as much as they used to.

Due to

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the increasing presence of online vegetable businesses,

for example

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, many traditional

markets

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have experienced a reduction in customers who prefer to buy items online.

Moreover

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, shopping malls have seen a decline in visitors compared to the past.

Thus

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, online shopping clearly presents disadvantages for both consumers and sellers, especially those in traditional

markets

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. In conclusion,

while

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online shopping has merits

such

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as expanding business opportunities and promoting new

brands

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, it

also

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has negative effects, particularly for people who are unfamiliar with technology and sellers in traditional

markets

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. In my opinion, offline stores should adapt to and adopt new technologies if they do not want to fall behind.

salwafahanimThu Sep 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

While your essay is well-structured, ensure to vary sentence structures to maintain reader interest and avoid monotony.

task achievement

The examples used are relevant and effective; however, try to diversify examples by mentioning a wider variety of industries or products.

task achievement

The essay clearly discusses both perspectives on online shopping, providing a balanced view.

task achievement

The use of relevant and specific examples adds credibility and clarity to the arguments presented.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay, with clear topic sentences and supporting details, enhances readability.

coherence cohesion

Both the introduction and the conclusion are present and effectively summarize and encapsulate the main points discussed in the essay.

15
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

354 words

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In some countries, online shopping is gradually replacing in-store shopping. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative impacts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Food travels thousands of miles from producers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for the environment and economy if people only ate the local food produced by farmers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?