Working long hours causes a great deal of stress and can be very bad for health. The government must find a way to reduce this type of stress. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Overworking has become a reason for regulations of
stress
, which leads to serious health problems at the same time. Authorities ought to be active in finding a solution to decrease it. Use synonyms
Although
the Linking Words
government
plays an integral role in reducing working Use synonyms
hours
, I firmly believe Use synonyms
bosses
of companies are able to manage free-time activities to overcome Use synonyms
stress
.
The directors of the companies should take responsibility for planning a variety of breaks during their employees' Use synonyms
work
time, as Use synonyms
bosses
are aware of the situations and causes that may make Use synonyms
workers
stressed.Use synonyms
For example
, organizing fitness clubs in the workplace or providing vouchers for vacations would be an excellent way to make employees happy and help them get rid of Linking Words
stress
.Use synonyms
In addition
, Linking Words
workers
may utilize these facilities regularly with the purpose of relaxing and staying in a good mood during their Use synonyms
work
time.Use synonyms
As a result
, Linking Words
bosses
are more responsible for managing a range of cheerful activities for their Use synonyms
workers
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, the Linking Words
government
Use synonyms
also
has a crucial role in addressing overwork by reducing excessive Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
hours
.Use synonyms
For instance
,enforcing regulations on working Linking Words
hours
and encouraging companies to adapt their flexible Use synonyms
work
schedules can help Use synonyms
workers
reduce Use synonyms
stress
and improve Use synonyms
overall
well-being.Meanwhile,most Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
the
people will followCorrect article usage
apply
Correct article usage
the
Correct article usage
the
government
in their workplace. Use synonyms
Additionally
,Linking Words
Use synonyms
government
plays a significant role Correct article usage
the government
of
managing extra working Change preposition
in
hours
which leads to Use synonyms
stress
.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
while
the Linking Words
government
can address Use synonyms
this
problem by implementing regulations to limit excessive Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
hours
, I firmly believe that company Use synonyms
bosses
can address it more swiftly by creating a relaxed atmosphere for their Use synonyms
workers
. By doing so, they can directly influence the Use synonyms
work
environment and immediately reduce Use synonyms
stress
levels among their employees.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Your essay presents relevant ideas and examples, but there's room for development of some points. Try to elaborate more on the specific measures the government can take and the immediate benefits provided by employers to make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Work on the introduction and conclusion for even greater clarity. Your introduction could provide a broader context for the issue, and the conclusion could more emphatically summarize your key points and their implications.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are clearly communicated and your argument is easy to follow. You've successfully connected the role of both the government and employers in addressing stress caused by long hours.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear progression of ideas, making your argument more compelling.
task achievement
You made good use of examples, such as fitness clubs and vouchers for vacations, to illustrate your points.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.