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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #computers #phones #communication #effects #skills
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Many citizens believe that upward trends in communication using mobiles and
computers
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 negatively influence youngsters' writing and reading
skills
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. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement
due to
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 the advantages of technology, which can assist juveniles to improve their
skills
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. First of all, improvements in communication technology can help young people enhance their
skills
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, especially in writing and reading. Using
this
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, they can improve their vocabulary, skimming, and scanning
skills
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.
For instance
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, they read many articles or electronic newspapers on the website every morning, so their reading skill will be improved. In terms of writing
skills
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, they can
also
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 read some examples of essays from reliable sources on the internet.
Furthermore
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, using
computers
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 for writing applications will reduce using paper, which many people should adapt to paperless. Communicating using mobiles and
computers
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 has other positive effects, especially for pupils and tutors at university. They can communicate by using email to talk about their assignments and projects.
Moreover
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, using video conference apps to learn about these
skills
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 will give them more comprehensive knowledge and another perspective. They can share tips and tricks on improving
skills
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 and apply them by regularly doing online exercises on
computers
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 and phones.
Therefore
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, these
skills
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 will be upgraded, and they can achieve their best.
In addition
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, they can adapt these
skills
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 to do their research and dissertation, resulting in good final grades to graduate. In conclusion, technology machines play essential roles in the lives of youngsters. I am afraid I have to disagree with the statement
due to
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 the benefits of using
computers
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 and mobiles. High rates of users using these devices will create considerable improvements in reading and writing
skills
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 for the young generation by communicating with others.
Submitted by Crowns on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear position throughout the essay. Although your stance is somewhat clear, reinforcing your viewpoint in every paragraph ensures better task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Using a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing can enhance coherence and cohesion. While your essay is structured well, experimenting with more varied linking words and phrases could strengthen the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Develop your arguments further with more specific examples and evidence. Your essay has relevant examples, but incorporating more detailed scenarios could enrich your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and typos, as polishing these can have a positive impact on your score.
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