In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

#world #life #expectancy #individuals #society #measures #impact #populations

It is true that

people

in industrialised nations can expect to live longer than ever before.

Although

there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences of

this

trend, societies can take steps to mitigate these potential

problems

. As

people

live longer and the populations of developed countries grow older, several related

problems

can be anticipated. The main issue is that there will obviously be more

people

of retirement age who will be eligible to receive a pension. The proportion of younger, working

adults

will be smaller, and governments will

therefore

receive less money in taxes in relation to the size of the population.

In other words

, an ageing population will mean a greater tax burden for working

adults

Further

pressures will include a rise in the demand for healthcare

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and the fact young

adults

will increasingly have to look after their elderly relatives. There are several actions that governments could take to solve the

problems

described above.

Firstly

, a simple solution would be to increase the retirement age for working

adults

, perhaps from 65 to 70. Nowadays,

people

this

age tend to be healthy enough to continue a productive working life. A second measure would be for governments to encourage immigration in order to increase the number of working

adults

who pay taxes.

Finally

, money from national budgets will need to be taken from other areas and spent on vital healthcare, accommodation and transport facilities for the rising numbers of older citizens. In conclusion, various measures can be taken to tackle the

problems

that are certain to arise as the populations of countries grow older.

Submitted by IELTS nis on Thu Sep 05 2024

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task achievement

The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task with clear and comprehensive ideas. However, adding more specific examples to support the arguments could enhance the relevance and impact of the essay.

coherence cohesion

While the essay maintains a logical structure and has clear introductions and conclusions, consider varying sentence structures and transitions to further improve cohesion.

task achievement

The essay effectively addresses the prompt and provides a detailed and thoughtful response.

coherence cohesion

The ideas are well-organized and follow a logical progression, making the essay easy to read and understand.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and succinct, encapsulating the main points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

average life expectancy
developed world
increase
individuals
society
personal goals
ambitions
quality of life
leisure
recreation
healthcare costs
challenges
healthcare system
ageing population
shortage
available workers
economy
retirement planning
healthy lifestyles
investing
social support systems

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In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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