Modern lifestyles are said to negatively affect our health, and most people are too busy to make time for their own health. However, some people argue that by making small changes to our daily routines, we can enjoy a happier, healthier way of life. Discuss both sides of the argument and state a viewpoint

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Some would argue that the current lifestyle today has negative effects on people's health and they are too busy to deal with it,

however

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, others say that small revisions to the everyday routine can lead to a happy and healthy life.

While

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others find it hard to maintain a healthy life

due to

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the demands of work, I believe that little changes can be made by

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management in order to achieve good health. On the one hand, the demands of work in today's world are undeniable. Employees spend more than eight hours in their jobs to increase productivity.

Also

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, a lot of companies are understaffed which is why the workload of their staff has doubled.

For instance

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, most hospitals in the Philippines are understaffed which is why they have to spend 60 to 72 hours in their job. And because of

this

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, they make poor healthy choices,

such

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as eating instant foods in order to cope with stress.

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, I believe that

this

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should not be an excuse to disregard one's well-being.

On the other hand

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, proper

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management can help people make little changes in their lives in order to shift from unhealthy lifestyles to healthy ones. The

time

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spent browsing the internet can be allocated to preparing hearty meals or exercising.

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, websites

such

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as YouTube offer a lot of exercise routines and healthy recipes which can be done in less than thirty minutes.

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, the individual can combine commuting and ten minutes of walking to and from work.

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, I believe that

this

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method has significant positive effects on one's well-being. In conclusion,

although

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it is hard to live a healthy lifestyle because of the demanding workplace, proper planning and organizing an individual's

time

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can help in achieving a healthy and happy life

yoko.oneromTue Feb 27 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve your score in task achievement, ensure that your argument is balanced by discussing both views thoroughly before stating your own opinion. Include more relevant and specific examples to support each point you make, ensuring these examples are detailed and directly linked to the argument you're presenting.

Coherence and Cohesion

For enhancing coherence and cohesion, you can work on the logical flow of ideas within paragraphs and between them. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to clearly show the relationship between your ideas. This will strengthen your essay's overall structure and readability.

Introduction and Conclusion

When introducing and concluding your essay, aim for clarity and conciseness. Present the topic and your viewpoint clearly in the introduction. The conclusion should effectively summarize the main points of your essay, reinforcing your viewpoint. This will provide a strong framework for your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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Your opinion

Some businesses prohibit smoking in any of their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do you agree or disagree that this is the right course of action? Give reasons for your opinion.Find essays with the same topic

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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