Modern lifestyles are said to negatively affect our health, and most people are too busy to make time for their own health. However, some people argue that by making small changes to our daily routines, we can enjoy a happier, healthier way of life. Discuss both sides of the argument and state a viewpoint
Some would argue that the current lifestyle today has negative effects on people's health and they are too busy to deal with it,
however
, others say that small revisions to the everyday routine can lead to a happy and healthy life. While
others find it hard to maintain a healthy life due to
the demands of work, I believe that little changes can be made by time
management in order to achieve good health.
On the one hand, the demands of work in today's world are undeniable. Employees spend more than eight hours in their jobs to increase productivity. Also
, a lot of companies are understaffed which is why the workload of their staff has doubled. For instance
, most hospitals in the Philippines are understaffed which is why they have to spend 60 to 72 hours in their job. And because of this
, they make poor healthy choices, such
as eating instant foods in order to cope with stress. However
, I believe that this
should not be an excuse to disregard one's well-being.
On the other hand
, proper time
management can help people make little changes in their lives in order to shift from unhealthy lifestyles to healthy ones. The time
spent browsing the internet can be allocated to preparing hearty meals or exercising. For example
, websites such
as YouTube offer a lot of exercise routines and healthy recipes which can be done in less than thirty minutes. In addition
, the individual can combine commuting and ten minutes of walking to and from work. Thus
, I believe that this
method has significant positive effects on one's well-being.
In conclusion, although
it is hard to live a healthy lifestyle because of the demanding workplace, proper planning and organizing an individual's time
can help in achieving a healthy and happy lifeSubmitted by yoko.onerom on
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Task Achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, ensure that your argument is balanced by discussing both views thoroughly before stating your own opinion. Include more relevant and specific examples to support each point you make, ensuring these examples are detailed and directly linked to the argument you're presenting.
Coherence and Cohesion
For enhancing coherence and cohesion, you can work on the logical flow of ideas within paragraphs and between them. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to clearly show the relationship between your ideas. This will strengthen your essay's overall structure and readability.
Introduction and Conclusion
When introducing and concluding your essay, aim for clarity and conciseness. Present the topic and your viewpoint clearly in the introduction. The conclusion should effectively summarize the main points of your essay, reinforcing your viewpoint. This will provide a strong framework for your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?