Write a letter to the enrollment officer in a college requesting an exception for joining

#enrollment #officer #college #exception

Dear Mr. Xubair, Hope you are doing well, I am writing

this

letter to apply for the computer science program,

that is

offered in the college notice board. I am a little bit concerned about the requirements for enrollment. I heard that

this

particular

course

offered some advanced topics, and it attracted me a lot, because of that reason I am keen to join that

course

. But when I tried to apply for that

course

, it showed me that I needed 4.5 out of 5 for my second exam. Unfortunately for some reason, my grade is not good, it's 4 out of 5. So is there any way I can admit

this

subject? It will be very helpful if there are some exceptions for joining. One additional thing I need to address to you is that I already completed basic computer learning, so for my better learning the advanced programme will help me a lot in my career and I assure you that I will seriously participate in

this

course

. I would appreciate it if you could look into

this

matter at your convenience time. Yours sincerely, Sudipta Ghosh

Submitted by uadayghosh on Thu Dec 14 2023

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logical structure

Ensure that the letter has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The current structure could be improved for better clarity and logical flow.

greeting and closing

Use a more formal and consistent salutation and closing. While 'Yours sincerely' is suitable, it would be better to address the recipient with a consistent level of formality throughout.

single idea per paragraph

Each paragraph should focus on a single idea or request. Your paragraphs tended to mix several points, which can confuse the reader. Separate your concerns clearly.

complete response

The response addresses the task at hand, but ensure that you are directly responding to the task's specific requirements.

suitable writing tone

While the tone is mostly suitable, some parts of the letter could be perceived as informal. Aim for a tone that is consistently formal and respectful.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

189 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Write a letter to the enrollment officer in a college requesting an exception for joining

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that children shouldn’t watch a lot of TV and play video games due to the negative impacts on their mental health. Others, otherwise, think that TV or video games help chilren be more creative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that protecting the environment is the government's responsibility. Other believe that every individual should be responsible for it. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.