More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #price #foods

The issue of rising obesity

rates

is a significant public health concern. One proposed

solution

Add an article

the solution

show examples

is to increase the price of fattening

foods

such

as sugary snacks and fast

foods

, to discourage consumption. In my perspective,

while

this

approach has its merits,it is not a comprehensive solution. On one hand,

this

approach excessively affects low-income individuals who may already

struggle

Change the form of the verb

struggling

show examples

to afford food. Simply raising prices without providing affordable, healthy alternatives could worsen food insecurity.

Additionally

, people may not always make healthier choices even when prices change; habits, preferences, and lack of nutritional education play significant roles in food choices. If individuals were more aware of the dangers of consuming oily products and sugary substances, the chances of cutting down those substances from their diet

increases

Change the verb form

increase

show examples

considerably.

On the other hand

, higher prices might deter people from purchasing unhealthy options, leading them to choose healthier alternatives.

This

economic strategy has been effective in other areas,

such

as various cigarette controls, where higher taxes have led to reduced smoking

rates

Therefore

, by making unhealthy

foods

less affordable, the community could potentially see a decrease in obesity

rates

and a healthier community. A more effective solution would involve a multipurpose approach. Alongside price increases, governments should invest in public health campaigns to educate people about nutrition and healthy eating.

Furthermore

, funding healthy

foods

to make them more affordable and accessible is

also

crucial. In conclusion,

while

increasing the price of fattening

foods

might contribute to reducing obesity

rates

, it should be part of a broader strategy that includes education and providing money for nutritious

foods

Submitted by TUTOO on Fri Sep 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly. Adding transitional phrases can improve the flow.

coherence cohesion

Clarify the language in certain parts to avoid generalizations. Be precise in outlining solutions or arguments.

introduction conclusion present

Well-structured introduction and conclusion, which are clearly present and serve their purpose.

supported main points

Main points are relevant and supported, making the essay cohesive.

coherence cohesion

The use of a multipurpose approach demonstrates comprehensive thinking and a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

10 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
overweight
fattening foods
calorie-dense
healthier food choices
taxation
economic implications
social implications
subsidies
nutritional education
public health campaigns
nanny state
individual's right
consumer behavior
preventative measures

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More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some say that the most important thing abpit beimg rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extend do you agree pr disagree?

Many organizations and companies ask their staff to wear a uniform. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.

Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work that with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answers.