More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #price #foods

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The issue of rising obesity

rates

is a significant public health concern. One proposed

solution

Add an article

the solution

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is to increase the price of fattening

foods

such

as sugary snacks and fast

foods

, to discourage consumption. In my perspective,

while

this

approach has its merits,it is not a comprehensive solution. On one hand,

this

approach excessively affects low-income individuals who may already

struggle

Change the form of the verb

struggling

show examples

to afford food. Simply raising prices without providing affordable, healthy alternatives could worsen food insecurity.

Additionally

, people may not always make healthier choices even when prices change; habits, preferences, and lack of nutritional education play significant roles in food choices. If individuals were more aware of the dangers of consuming oily products and sugary substances, the chances of cutting down those substances from their diet

increases

Change the verb form

increase

show examples

considerably.

On the other hand

, higher prices might deter people from purchasing unhealthy options, leading them to choose healthier alternatives.

This

economic strategy has been effective in other areas,

such

as various cigarette controls, where higher taxes have led to reduced smoking

rates

Therefore

, by making unhealthy

foods

less affordable, the community could potentially see a decrease in obesity

rates

and a healthier community. A more effective solution would involve a multipurpose approach. Alongside price increases, governments should invest in public health campaigns to educate people about nutrition and healthy eating.

Furthermore

, funding healthy

foods

to make them more affordable and accessible is

also

crucial. In conclusion,

while

increasing the price of fattening

foods

might contribute to reducing obesity

rates

, it should be part of a broader strategy that includes education and providing money for nutritious

foods

Submitted by TUTOO on Fri Sep 06 2024

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task achievement

To enhance the task response, provide more specific examples or evidence. This will make the argument more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly. Adding transitional phrases can improve the flow.

coherence cohesion

Clarify the language in certain parts to avoid generalizations. Be precise in outlining solutions or arguments.

introduction conclusion present

Well-structured introduction and conclusion, which are clearly present and serve their purpose.

supported main points

Main points are relevant and supported, making the essay cohesive.

coherence cohesion

The use of a multipurpose approach demonstrates comprehensive thinking and a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

10 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
overweight
fattening foods
calorie-dense
healthier food choices
taxation
economic implications
social implications
subsidies
nutritional education
public health campaigns
nanny state
individual's right
consumer behavior
preventative measures

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More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

The government should control the internet to reduce cybercrime and ensure safety of users. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Your next door neighbour own a small dog that bark throughout day and night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Your reason for writing. What you would like to happen. A nice respectful style.

Students should pay full cost for their own study because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

space exploration is too expensive and money should be spent on more important things. to what extend do you agree or disagree

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as Important to a child’ development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?