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Band 6

Some people believe that educational systems should be highly selective, admitting only the most talented and high-achieving students. Others argue that education should be inclusive, providing equal opportunities for all students regardless of their academic abilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #systems #students #education #opportunities #abilities
There is an ongoing debate regarding whether the educational system should have the liberty to express its ideas without constraints. a majority of society claims that
education
 is just for brightening stars
while
 others oppose it and believe that all
students
 need
education
 regardless of their academic abilities.
This
 essay will discuss a highly selective
education
 system. On the one hand,
education
 is a basic right of every child whether it is capable or not. In the modern arena, higher
institute
Fix the agreement mistake
institutes
show examples
 give the chance to toppers and contradict to the lower marks
students
.
However
, it leads to social inequality and injustice for the
students
. Meanwhile, most of the
students
 belong to less educational backgrounds; and are symmetrically excluded from the public universities.
For example
, the universities in the ''United Kingdom'' refer to
students
 who have high skills and avoid the
students
 who are not scoring well and do not have any co-curricular skills.
Therefore
,
students
 face criticism from peers and parents.
This
 can affect their minds and increase the stress ratio, anxiety attacks, and lack of confidence. So the government should provide opportunities to all the
students
 and increase the number of institutes in respective areas.
on the other hand
, as we all know toppers are recognized for their skills and capabilities, they never need attention from institutes because universities call them and provide fully funded scholarships
as well as
 extra funding for their basic needs.
In addition
, the exclusive institute increases diversity in classrooms and creates a competitive environment.
For instance
, ''United States of America'' grabs the
students
 when the teenagers are at the college level and makes their institutes on a higher scale. To recapitulate, for the aforementioned reasons, I believe that organizations should
provided
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 funding to all the
students
 that will help to develop their careers. The government creates a society with equality and justice to make a better life in the World.
Submitted by alviusman18 on

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task achievement
Ensure clarity in expressing ideas and aim to avoid ambiguities or generalizations that could cloud your main points.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support arguments, enhancing the credibility of the response.
coherence cohesion
Maintain logical progression between paragraphs and ensure that each argument is well-explained and directly connected to the main issue.
coherence cohesion
Introduce clearer transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argumentation effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses both perspectives of the issue, reflecting an effort to provide a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly restates the main argument and offers a personal opinion, providing a sense of closure to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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