It is better for children if the whole families (e.g. aunts, uncles and grandparents)are involved in the children's upbringing, rather than their fathers and mothers only. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? (disagree)

People hold different views about whether only

parents

Use synonyms

should raise

children

Use synonyms

or if extended family members should

also

Linking Words

be involved. In my opinion, the entire family — including aunts, uncles, and grandparents — plays a crucial role in a

child

Use synonyms

’s development and should actively participate in their upbringing.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

parents

Use synonyms

are naturally the primary caregivers and providers. Mothers often take care of the

child

Use synonyms

's daily needs,

such

Linking Words

as feeding, clothing, and hygiene, especially during infancy. Fathers typically contribute by ensuring financial stability and protecting the family from potential dangers. Both

parents

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

support the

child

Use synonyms

's education by helping with schoolwork and teaching basic life skills.

However

Linking Words

, parenting can be overwhelming, and having additional support from extended family members can ease

this

Linking Words

burden significantly.

Moreover

Linking Words

, involving the extended family in a

child

Use synonyms

's upbringing can have many positive effects. Grandparents,

for example

Linking Words

, offer emotional support and pass down valuable life lessons based on their experiences. Aunts and uncles can serve as additional role models, teaching

children

Use synonyms

about respect, cooperation, and cultural traditions. Growing up surrounded by a caring and supportive extended family helps

children

Use synonyms

develop empathy, emotional resilience, and strong moral values. It

also

Linking Words

provides them with a safe environment where they feel loved and secure, which is essential for mental well-being.

Furthermore

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

who are raised in a strong family network are better equipped to face real-world challenges. They learn how to interact with people of different ages and personalities, which improves their social skills. In times of crisis or difficulty, having multiple trusted adults to turn to can help a

child

Use synonyms

feel more supported and less anxious. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

are undoubtedly central to a

child

Use synonyms

's upbringing, the involvement of the extended family adds significant value. Aunts, uncles, and grandparents help to

instill

Change the spelling

instil

show examples

moral values, emotional strength, and social skills that are essential for a

child

Use synonyms

's long-term success.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I strongly believe that the whole family should take part in raising

children

Use synonyms

robin.chem92

Jun 18, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction states your opinion clearly, which is good. Make sure to restate your main points in the conclusion to reinforce your views.

task achievement

You have very good main points in your essay. Try to add more specific examples to support your ideas to make them stronger.

coherence and cohesion

Your paragraphs are well-structured. Remember to use linking words like 'firstly,' 'furthermore,' and 'in addition' to enhance flow between ideas.

task achievement

You provided clear reasons supporting your opinion, which helps the reader understand your viewpoint very well.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a logical flow, making it easy to follow your argument from one point to another.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

325 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

better
children
families
involved
upbringing
agree
disagree
important
role
primary
caregivers
support
guidance
development
parents
consistent
parenting
style
secure
boundaries
decisions
needs
feelings
voices
confuse
advice
follow
mixed
messages
behavior
discipline

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people feel that children should be able to choose the subjects they are interested in while others feel they should study the basic require subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals opine that children should have the right to select the stream they want to study. Whereas, others believe that they should have focused on basic discipline. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the latter notion that rudimentary schooling is mandatory for youngsters as they are unaware of their choices of interest in tuition and they can learn all the perspectives of different subjects.
7
band
Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A controversial discussion point is whether art subjects are necessary for schools. This writer believes that painting should not be compulsory because of hobbies and gifts, despite some people who argue that these subjects will bring significant development.
7
band
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at en early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this dictinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
There is an ongoing debate over whether punishment should be in order to recognise what is true and false at an early age. Many individuals claim that the penalty is crucial to aid them in distinct differences from the truth. At the same time, I mostly agree with this point of view.
6
band
Some people think that it would be better for large companies in the industry to move to regional areas outside large urban cities. Do you think the advantages outweigh the advantageous.
In today's swiftly developing society, whilst a number of individuals anticipate that gigantic corporations are obliged to basing more in regional places, in the sense of evolving economics there also and , others strongly believe that there is no need to do it owing to the necessity to confess a status of city. I firmly give credence to the point of relocating colossal companies to cities with inferior importance for rapid development purposes.
7.5
band
Modern societies need specialists in certain fields, but not others. Some people therefore think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive the government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages?
In every country, there are fashions among students about which subjects are the best to study at university. Sometimes the popularity of a subject is determined by how much money a graduate could subsequently earn in that field. Or subjects that are perceived as relatively 'easy' may also become popular, in spite of later difficulties of finding appropriate employment. It is up to governments to give incentives to students to choose subjects that match the needs of their society.

It is better for children if the whole families (e.g. aunts, uncles and grandparents)are involved in the children's upbringing, rather than their fathers and mothers only. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? (disagree)

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people feel that children should be able to choose the subjects they are interested in while others feel they should study the basic require subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at en early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this dictinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that it would be better for large companies in the industry to move to regional areas outside large urban cities. Do you think the advantages outweigh the advantageous.