Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting a culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Culture, a way of life, the general customs and the very beliefs of people,
without
doubt that it’s an important aspect. Certainly being the backbone for one’s lifestyle and possibly future, culture needs to be Change preposition
apply
preversed
. But is it the right way to do so through Correct your spelling
reversed
preserved
tourism
?
To initiate, it allows people of different religions and continents to learn about the values of these cultures available around the globe, In addition
, this
also
tourists are able to enchance
their knowledge about the Correct your spelling
enhance
authenic
and traditional food of a state or a country.Correct your spelling
authentic
Morever
, Correct your spelling
Moreover
tourism
helps in increasing the
revenue which could help to maintain the cultural Correct article usage
apply
heritages
.
Fix the agreement mistake
heritage
However
, tourism
does have it’s
negative effects on the culture.The first point is an Replace the word
its
increased
in Change the form of the verb
increase
tourism
could load
to Correct your spelling
lead
loss
of traditional values. Correct article usage
the loss
Furthermore
, visitors could seriously damage the environment and the cultural destination, by throwing trashes
and causing Correct subject-verb agreement
trash
pollutions
, or even drawing graffiti on the heritage. Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
Finally
, both cultural and natural resorts have a
potential to Correct article usage
the
be vanished
Wrong verb form
vanish
due to
over-exploitation
of unique Correct article usage
the over-exploitation
landscape
and national heritage to commercialize, building their own brand in Fix the agreement mistake
landscapes
tourism
in order to catch attention
of tourists.
In conclusion, despite giving an immense Add an article
the attention
finanical
Correct your spelling
financial
supportin
conserving, it put cultures into jeopardy at the same time. Though we don’t know which one will overcome the others, it’s certain that the Correct your spelling
support in
supportin'
supporting
adventages
have the Correct your spelling
advantages
upperhand
.Correct your spelling
upper hand
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task response
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines both sides of the argument. This will help set the stage for your discussion. Consider starting with a more engaging hook to capture the reader's attention.
coherence cohesion
Organize your paragraphs more effectively. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically into the next. Use transition words and phrases to help guide your reader through your argument.
task response
Use specific examples to illustrate your points. This will not only strengthen your argument but also make your essay more engaging and credible.
coherence cohesion
Be cautious of grammar and spelling errors. For instance, 'enchance' should be 'enhance,' and 'authenic' should be 'authentic.' While minor, these errors can interrupt the flow of your writing.
task response
Conclude with a concise summary of both sides and clearly state your own opinion. This will leave the reader with a strong understanding of your perspective.
task response
Focus on developing each point more fully. Provide more detailed explanations and examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more compelling and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your work to avoid minor errors, such as 'could load to loss' should be 'could lead to the loss,' and 'trashes' should be 'trash.' Such mistakes can detract from your overall message and coherence.
task response
Your essay has a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, which shows your ability to consider multiple perspectives.
coherence cohesion
You have identified key points regarding the benefits and drawbacks of tourism on culture, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.