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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018
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The line graph below illustrates the amount of new and old, which are opened and closed respectively, with the range 2011 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
shops
Use synonyms
 which closures was a leader every year, except in 2011. The
number
Use synonyms
 of opening
shops
Use synonyms
 fell dramatically from 2011 to 2012 and started to increase until 2014, with 4000
shops
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the
show examples
other figure decreased slightly and it is
number
Use synonyms
 was bigger than openings
shops
Use synonyms
 approximately for 2000
Use synonyms
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
shops
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 index fluctuated from 2012 to 2014 with between 6000 and 7000 amount of
shops
Use synonyms
 and decreased dramatically until 2015 and had less than 1000
shops
Use synonyms
. Openings
shops
Use synonyms
 had
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same
number
Use synonyms
 of
shops
Use synonyms
 in 2012 and in 2015, between
this
Linking Words
 year it fluctuated from a range of 4000 and slightly more than 6000
this
Linking Words
 figure did not rise or down between 2015 and 2016, but fell to 3000
Use synonyms
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
shops
Use synonyms
 in 2018.
While
Linking Words
, amount of closures
shops
Use synonyms
rice
Correct your spelling
rose
show examples
 dramatically until 2016 and had 5000
Use synonyms
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
shops
Use synonyms
 in 3 years, more precisely in 2016, 2017 and 2018.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, shops with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • decline
  • surge
  • stabilize
  • correlation
  • economic conditions
  • consumer behavior
  • technological advancements
  • urban development
  • employment
  • retail sector
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