Banking and its role in our life. Methods of paying.

Banking and funding are very important for the functioning of the modern world. Without a banking system, the way we profit
for
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from
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capital would not work.
As a result
, they allow people to save
money
, and pay for things easily and securely
..
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.
...
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Although
many banking transactions can be done online, there are still some things that require visiting a
bank
,
such
as opening or closing an account or depositing
money
. Because of
this
, every country in the world has its own banks, and they have branches in almost every city, making it convenient for people to use them.
In addition
to local branches, each
bank
also
has a head office where all centralised tasks are performed, allowing the local branches to function. Most clients will simply need to speak with the tellers if they wish to deposit cash or a check into their account.
However
, if they want to open or withdraw more
money
than is in their account, they may need to see a manager. If they want to borrow
money
for a loan, they will need to meet with the
bank
manager to request authorization for the loan.
Along with
using cash or checks, banks
also
offer their customers more convenient methods
such
as debit and credit cards. In my opinion, these methods are more convenient because you only need to carry a plastic card to pay for items. When using plastic, you can pay for any purchase with ease. You will need to either sign a receipt or enter a PIN number to confirm the purchase and prove that you are authorized to use it. I believe that paying with a QR code through the app
instead
of using cash or a card is the most convenient. To summarize, the range of banking services is expanding every day, and the system is improving. I am confident that anyone who uses the
bank
's services will find a service that suits their needs. What do you think?
Submitted by lioness1970 on

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Task Achievement
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Coherence & Cohesion
It's great to see a clear structure in your essay. To improve, try to link your ideas more seamlessly. Using a wider variety of linking words and phrases could enhance the flow from one point to the next.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've introduced the topic and provided a conclusion, which is excellent for structure. To improve, you could make your introduction more engaging and your conclusion more impactful by summarizing your main points more strongly and stating a more definitive stance or prediction about the future of banking.
Task Response
Your essay provides a comprehensive overview of banking, its importance, and the convenience of modern payment methods.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your logical structure, including an introduction and conclusion, makes your essay easy to follow.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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