IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries, truancy* is a worrying problem for both parents and educators. What are the causes of truancy, and what may be the effects on the child and the wider community?

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Parents and educators both are scared of
truancy
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 which is a worrying difficulty in many nations.
This
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 essay demonstrates some reasons and the impacts on children and society. In my opinion, child awareness and uncared parents are the main reasons for
truancy
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. From my perspective, adolescent conscience needs to be raised, because some children do not have knowledge of the importance of school.
Firstly
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, schools have to do awareness campaigns to illustrate why pupils are required to go to school and learn and everyone needs to understand
this
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.
Moreover
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, plenty of minors are pulled by their bad friends somewhere else which detrimentally on the child's grades, some students who get truant from school are prone to bullying at schools and cyberbullying which impacts on child's mind .
For instance
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, whether students are intelligent at studying,
however
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, they are unaware of what
truancy
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 will do to them and what bullying affects them.
Additionally
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, some adolescents have trouble with families who do not care about their children which turns into youngsters harmfully. First of all, the government ought to address
this
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 problem by campaigns or penalties on the families to help communities.
Secondly
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, the family should understand the responsibility of
truancy
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.
In addition
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, some pupils conceal things they get like getting bullied or anything happening to them . To illustrate, some films show the effects of
truancy
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 and unconscience of
truancy
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 and some of the films are from real life. In summary,
truancy
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 is a huge challenge for families and governments.
Furthermore
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, it is shattering the communities and minors's future.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt well, but it lacks depth in some parts. Try to provide more specific details and examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The structure is generally clear, but some paragraphs could be better organized for more logical flow. Consider using transition words to connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Some points in your essay are not fully developed. Make sure to elaborate on each idea and provide clear, specific examples.
coherence cohesion
There are minor grammatical and syntactical errors throughout the essay. Proofread your work and consider using varied sentence structures to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main points well.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant and address the main aspects of the prompt, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • truancy
  • absenteeism
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • mental health
  • domestic problems
  • curriculum
  • juvenile delinquency
  • workforce
  • community cohesion
  • social activities
  • parental involvement
  • depression
  • anxiety
  • social isolation
What to do next:
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