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Writing Samples
Band 6

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays, people store knowledge on the internet. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Your essay should comprise a minimum of 250 words.

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In the past, people primarily stored
knowledge
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 in
books
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, which were considered the most reliable sources of
information
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.
However
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, with the advent of the
internet
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, the way we store and
access
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knowledge
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 has undergone a significant transformation.
While
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this
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 development offers undeniable advantages, it
also
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 brings about certain disadvantages that should not be overlooked.
This
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 article will address the pros and downsides of
this
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 change, concluding that the former outweighs the latter. One of the most significant advantages of storing
knowledge
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 on the
internet
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 is the ease of
access
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. Unlike
books
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, which require physical space and time to locate, the
internet
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 allows users to
access
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 vast amounts of
information
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 instantly with just a few clicks.
This
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 rapid
access
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 to
knowledge
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 has made learning and research more efficient and has democratized
information
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, making it accessible to people all over the world, regardless of their location or financial status.
Additionally
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, the
internet
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 enables the continuous updating of
information
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, ensuring that users always have
access
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 to the most current data.
However
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, storing
knowledge
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 on the
internet
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 is not without its disadvantages. One of the primary concerns is the reliability of the
information
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 available online. Unlike
books
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, which undergo rigorous editorial processes, online content can be created and shared by anyone, leading to the proliferation of misinformation.
Furthermore
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, the dependence on technology for accessing
knowledge
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 can be problematic, particularly in situations where there is no
internet
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access
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 or when digital platforms experience technical failures.
Lastly
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, there are significant privacy and security concerns, as personal
information
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 and intellectual property can be vulnerable to cyber threats. In conclusion,
while
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 storing
knowledge
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 on the
internet
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 offers significant advantages in terms of accessibility and the ability to update
information
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, it
also
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 presents challenges related to reliability, security, and dependence on technology. Despite these drawbacks, the benefits of
this
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 development, particularly in making
knowledge
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 more accessible and up-to-date, outweigh the disadvantages.
Therefore
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, it can be concluded that the shift from
books
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 to the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 as the primary storage of
knowledge
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 is a positive development
overall
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.

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task achievement
Ensure all points in the essay directly align with the central argument and topic. While you addressed the essay prompt comprehensively, adding specific examples would strengthen your argument further. Examples could include references to the rapid spread of information during important global events or specific instances of misinformation affecting public opinion.
coherence cohesion
Try to provide even more detailed linking phrases to showcase the logical progression between ideas. This will improve the reader's understanding of how each argument relates to the overall theme. Consider using additional connective language for smoother transitions between paragraphs.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets up the topic and outlines the intended discussion, providing a clear roadmap for the reader.
logical structure
The essay provides a balanced perspective, highlighting both advantages and disadvantages, and reaches a thoughtful conclusion that weighs both sides.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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