Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

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Nowadays, many
children
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are engaged in using their
smartphones
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.
This
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is because
this
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technology
widespread
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is widespread
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and needed. I firmly believe that it is an advantageous development only if don't use it excessively .
This
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essay will provide several reasons to support
this
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argument. With advancements in the contemporary world, many people even
children
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can access
smartphones
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. These devices become an integral part of our lives, so without them, it would be difficult to maintain our daily routine. For
children
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,
this
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could be a positive phenomenon if their parents monitor them . They can enhance their
knowledge
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with
smartphones
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.
For instance
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, I used to read online books on my smartphone , when I was a child.
This
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increased my
overall
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general
knowledge
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.
Therefore
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,
smartphone
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smartphones
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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beneficial for those interested in gaining valuable
knowledge
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.
Moreover
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,
smartphones
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are essential for education. There are many online teachers who teach for free. To get benefits from all these amenities, they must be involved in the usage of
smartphones
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properly.
Also
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, in schools, we should allow
children
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to use their
smartphones
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to fulfil some tasks more practically compared to paper-based ones
such
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as taking notes or making calculations on their
smartphones
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.
Thus
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, for better quality of education, new technologies should be adopted for the usage of
children
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at school. In conclusion,
due to
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recent progress that has been made in technology, many
children
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can access and use
smartphones
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.
This
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is vitally important for their daily lives. Through control by their parents, they should utilize
this
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device to receive new
knowledge
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and for their study.
Smartphones
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are significant for the betterment of education and student's academic development.
Submitted by Yasar Khan on

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task achievement
Try to strengthen your main points with more concrete and varied examples to make the argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the ideas in each paragraph have smooth transitions to enhance the logical flow, making the essay easier to follow.
grammar
Ensure consistent and accurate use of articles and prepositions to improve readability and overall writing quality.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the topic and the writer's position, setting a strong foundation for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer's stance, providing a satisfying end to the essay.
task achievement
Usage of personal examples, like the mention of reading online books, adds a personal touch and relevance to the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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