In many countries, the tradition of having family meals together is disappearing. Why is this happening? What will the effects of this be on the family and society

Nowadays, in some countries, the tradition of having family meals together is disappearing.
This
essay will discuss why
this
has occurred and examine the consequences of
this
trend.
Firstly
, one of the main causes of
this
is that young families are unwilling to live
together with
their families. Even it is a problem for that gathering altogether for dinner once a week. Actually, sometimes the lack of
time
can be a problem, so some members of the family cannot schedule the meeting because of the job. In
this
era,
it is clear that
you cannot gather everyone every
evenings
Change to a singular noun
evening
show examples
for meals. Today, people have a lot of habitats in their lives. Because of
this
, they they prefer to do their hobbies rather than
time
with their relatives.
According to
the “Customs” journal, family meals are predicted to decrease to 35%
until
Change preposition
by
show examples
2030. The effects of
this
have been and will continue to be very serious. In my opinion, some traditions about family should be preserved. It will have some bad effects on our new generations. Spending
time
with your family members is significantly useful for everyone’s mental health. If we do not take
time
for
this
, it will negatively impact our communications with our families.
For example
,
according to
the survey, which runs from the BBC, it is showed that 85% of people miss their family
time
.
To sum up
, it is evident that there are some causes and some bad influences that are destroying
this
tradition. Society needs to take action to protect
this
custom for our new generation of mankind.
Submitted by gular.taghiyeva on

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coherence cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand your main points. However, the logical structure of the essay can be improved. Try to ensure a smoother flow between paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively by discussing both the reasons for the disappearance of family meals and its consequences. However, the response can be more complete by discussing a wider array of causes and effects. Include a few more specific examples or statistics to support your points better.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic, and you have made a coherent argument throughout the text.
task achievement
The ideas you shared are clear and generally comprehensive, making your argument easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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