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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foriegn language at primary school rather than secondary school.Do the advantagers of this overweign the disadvantagers?

It is only fair to say that learning a second
language
Use synonyms
 has become
one
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 of the most disputed and argued ideas all over the globe with its advantages and disadvantages that affects our life in different aspects. In
this
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 essay, I will explore the advantages and disadvantages of an external
language
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. In my concentration, learning a foreign
language
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 at Primary
School
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 for children has more demerits than its merits.
One
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 of the most cited advantages of studying a foreign
language
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 is acquiring early knowledge of a foreign
language
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. To clarify, they obtain basic words for expressing their feelings.
For example
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, in Oman children learn
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
 and body part names at primary
school
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as well as
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 they can communicate with foreign doctors. Another advantage is gaining a clear background about a foreign
language
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while
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 they are going to a secondary
school
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. To illustrate, studying at Secondary
School
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 requires deep and intensive education,
hence
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 students had already a good background at Primary
School
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.
For instance
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, in
Egypt
Add a comma
Egypt,
show examples
 the students start to chat with their teachers by sending them emails and articles which enable them to to participate and publish their own posters in newspapers and
this
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 indicates the success of teaching a foreign
language
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 in primary schools.
On the other hand
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,
one
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 of the most significant cited demerits for
this
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 issue is destruction and lack of focus. There is a massive difference between the mother tongue and the external
language
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 in their structures. Pupils are not able to differentiate the style of writing. To exemplify, the writing way of the Arabic
language
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 starts from right to left
while
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 the English
language
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 is the opposite.
Furthermore
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, the number three in English is similar to the number four in Arabic and
this
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 is what makes them distracted. Another negativity is the difficulty and intensity of the curriculum. To explain, the Arabic
language
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 itself has plenty of branches. As a sample, the Arabic
language
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 has more than four sections. So it is tough to add an external
language
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. An additional disadvantage is the foreign
language
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 requires a large amount of time to be taught in
one
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 lesson and
this
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 causes physical exhaustion for kids. In conclusion, the main advantage of
this
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 argument is acquiring early knowledge. and a perfect background
while
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 the substantial disadvantage is destruction and lack of focus. In light of the above, my personal belief is that I completely disagree with teaching a second
language
Use synonyms
 at a primary
school
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Ensure that all main points are thoroughly developed with sufficient detail. Some parts of your essay needed a bit more elaboration.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Sometimes transitions between paragraphs could be smoother.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that you maintain clarity and avoid repetition. This will improve reader comprehension and make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which summarize the main points effectively.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, particularly in the advantages and disadvantages sections.
task achievement
Your essay addressed the prompt and provided a balanced view of both advantages and disadvantages.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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