Some peole believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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The
touris
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tourism
tourist
will
activit
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activate
the
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tourism because
the
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will
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separate
seprate
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separate the knowledge
thr
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the
knowlede
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knowledge
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also
the culture
also
the
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they
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gain some benefit for the country because
the
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they
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will
rise
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raise
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the
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financial
statues
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status
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by buying all the stuff they need of course there is some
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rule
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trouble
the
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have to follow the
touris
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tourism
tourist
and
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the people they live in same place
Submitted by jolie.alharthi on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a clearer logical structure. Start with an introduction that presents the topic and states your opinion. Divide the content into paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point or argument. Finish with a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.
task achievement
Your essay does not address both sides of the argument. Make sure you discuss both viewpoints in detail and then provide your own opinion. Use examples to support your points.
task achievement
Improve your language accuracy by reviewing basic grammar rules, such as subject-verb agreement and sentence structure. Consider using more complex sentence forms and a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more clearly.
content
You show an understanding that tourism can have positive financial benefits for a country. This is a good starting point for developing your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ruin
  • preserve
  • promote
  • financial support
  • exploitation
  • commodification
  • authenticity
  • balance
  • crucial
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