Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Whilst some
people
tend to think that rivalry at
work
, at
school
and in daily life increases
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
and productivity of the
work
, others believe in the
work
of several
people
in achieving one goal. In my opinion, cooperation is better than
competition
, since it comprises different individuals with various skills that
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
achieving a goal in any sphere a lot easier. On the one hand,
competition
can serve as a
motivider
Correct your spelling
motive
for some
people
to do a particular job better than others, which leads to the growth of
quality
. The vast majority of the schools and jobs are using
competition
as a tool to boost
productivity
Add an article
the productivity
show examples
of the members and to achieve a better result. Because,
people
tend to compare themselves with others
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
so that they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
evaluate their chances
to be
Change preposition
of being
show examples
the best. Usually, the winner of the
competition
gets something worth,
such
as respect, admiration, and promotion.
For example
,
school
students always compete with each other to be ranked first. It will give them a better
chances
Correct the article-noun agreement
chance
show examples
to get accepted to university.
Furthermore
, the more competitive the
school
, the more students are valuable, since
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
show examples
environment
rises
Correct your spelling
raises
show examples
the
quality
of education.
On the other hand
, cooperation is a good thing, since various
people
would
work
together to achieve the goal. It makes any process at
school
, at
work
or in daily life a lot easier. Working or studying
together with
colleagues or friends does not put on a person a huge responsibility and pressure.
Conversily
Correct your spelling
Conversely
, an individual would have a particular responsibility in a team, which increases focus on the specific task.
Moreover
, teammates
also
can be supporters.
For example
, if one member can not tackle the task,
opinions
Correct article usage
the opinions
show examples
and help of the other members can accelerate the solving of the problem. Psychologists say that working in a team decreases fear of responsibility, which
otherwise
could lead to procrastination or low productivity at
work
. In conclusion, rivalry among students or
colleages
Correct your spelling
colleagues
can increase
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
of the
work
.
Nevertheless
, cooperation and networking of the
people
make the process easier.
Submitted by IELTS nis on

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Grammar
There are a few grammatical inaccuracies throughout. Try seeking direct feedback on specific errors or practicing with grammar exercises.
Task Achievement
While the examples are clear and relevant, expanding on some points with more detail or additional examples could further strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
You presented a balanced discussion, considering both views, which demonstrates depth in understanding and analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure is logical, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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