Some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn’t be a limitation on age, and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. Discuss both views, give your opinion and include relevant examples.
Some individuals think that all
people
should have the freedom to continue working no matter how old they are while
others think there should be a limitation on working ages for people
after 65. Personally, before giving my opinion, I would like to discuss both views in more detail in this
essay.
To begin
, it is thought that individuals should be allowed to continue working regardless of their age because it contributes to the increase of workforces in societies as well as
decrease the burden of finance for retired organizations. For example
, in developed countries, such
as The US shortage of labour is a significant issue and they must hire employees from developing countries and underdeveloped countries, like, Vietnam, Thailand, Lao and many more. Therefore
, the regulation of retirement is 67 years
old in America partly helps to solve labor shortage issues. This
regulation not only helps pension funds to reduce expenses but also
increases the amount of money tax that each worker over 65 years
old contributes to the government.
On the other hand
, others argue that people
over 65 years
old should be prevented to continue working because they have both physical and mental health problems, such
as cardiovascular disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, memory loss and much more . Hence
, it will be easy to suffer injuries in the process of working. To illustrate, If those who are over 65 years
old work
in a sales department, they will not have enough health to stand and convince customers for hours. In terms of manual labour such
as building, the elderly will be easy to fall down or dizzy if they work
outside and under sunny.Furthermore
, nowadays, employers require employees the particular knowledge of technology, and this
seems that workers after 65 years
old are outdated and unsuitable because the lifestyle of the elderly makes them are not interested in technology. Besides
, their eyes and bones have problems so they can not sit and stare at the screen for long hours. Consequently
, to ensure the safety of people
and properties, we should avoid letting individuals after 65 years
old continue working.
In conclusion, some believe that people
should be allowed to go on to work
at all ages because it helps to address the shortage of labour problems as well as
to reduce the burden of retirement payments. However
, I believe that citizens after the age of 65 should be banned to keep on working because their health is not only unsafety at work
but also
poor productivity.Submitted by writingeilts on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is structured logically, but refining the transitions between sentences and paragraphs can further enhance the flow.
task achievement
Ensure accuracy in language use. For example, correct "they must hire employees" to "they often need to hire employees."
task achievement
Try to avoid minor grammatical errors. For instance, "people over 65 years old should be prevented to continue working" should be "prevented from continuing to work."
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that neatly frame your arguments.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, which enhances the effectiveness of your argument.
task achievement
The essay covers both perspectives and provides your own opinion clearly and comprehensively.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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