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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
#information #numbers #participants #activities #center #melbourne #australia #period
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The presented line chart compares data about the
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
 of people who did various activities
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 in Melbourne,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 city in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australia, between 2000
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, it was important that trends
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 all
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
 other than Amateur dramatics
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
increase
; more over the best
one
Use synonyms
 is
Film
Correct article usage
the Film
show examples
 club.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, at the start, Film
club
Capitalize word
Club
show examples
, the main choice, was 64;
then
Linking Words
 the score reduced and reached 60 in 2010;
however
Linking Words
, it went up slightly to 68 in 2020. Martial arts,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 The second
one
Use synonyms
 in 2000,
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuation fashion around
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
30 and 40 owing to the fact that in 2000 was 37;
thereafter
Linking Words
, it
touche
Verb problem
reached
show examples
 a nadir
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 31in 2005;
then
Linking Words
 changed and became roughly 37 in 2020. The diagram demonstrates the third
one
Use synonyms
 in 2000 was Amateur dramatics, which was
diping
Correct your spelling
dipping
 moderately.
In addition
Linking Words
, in 2000, it was 27 after that hit
vertext
Correct your spelling
vertex
 at 30 in 2005;
neverthelss
Correct your spelling
nevertheless
, it declined to 8 in the
last
Linking Words
 time
while
Linking Words
 Table tennis, which was the same in 2010 by 20,
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
leapt
significatly
Correct your spelling
significantly
 from 18 in 2000 to 55 in 2020;
moreover
Linking Words
, it became
th
Correct your spelling
the
 second popular item. Musical performances began in
2005by
Correct your spelling
2005 by
 0. Later it
grwon
Correct your spelling
grew
 somewhat and
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the number that was the same as the
prioe
Correct your spelling
prior
price
one
Use synonyms
 in 2000.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words one with synonyms.
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