Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveler?
We all can agree with the fact that globalization is indeed bringing the
people
of the world closer than ever before as more number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
people
are travelling these days.In this
essay
I would like to discuss Add a comma
essay,
about
the same.
Remove the preposition
apply
Firstly
, only less
number of Correct word choice
a small
people
travel
300 years Wrong verb form
travelled
back
and most of them were either Rephrase
ago
messengers
of a kingdom or spiritual leaders who travelled in search of truth and knowledge.Change to a singular noun
messenger
People
started travelling more in the last
century especially
after the discovery of aeroplanes.Previously it used to take more than 6 months to Add the comma(s)
, especially
travel
from India to England but now it takes only a day by means of aeroplane
.
Add an article
the aeroplane
an aeroplane
People
travel
for various reasons.Some travel
to study in a reputed medical universities
across the world Correct the article-noun agreement
reputed medical universities
a reputed medical university
where as
others Correct your spelling
whereas
travel
for better health care.Nevertheless
there are many travellers who call themselves Add a comma
Nevertheless,
as
vloggers, Change preposition
apply
have
sprung up recently Correct pronoun usage
which have
especially
after the advent of Add the comma(s)
, especially
internet
.Most of these vloggers are actually Add an article
the internet
youtubers
who upload their adventurous videos which they took Correct your spelling
YouTubers
while
travelling in
their Change preposition
on
youbube
account.Correct your spelling
youtube
As a result
, they earn enough money to travel
throughout their lifespan and also
save some amount for their future.
Subsequently
, by travelling we get to come across various culture
and food habits of Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
people
all around the world.In addition
to that, we get to witness the beautiful nature which God has created thus
getting mesmerised by his creation.This
will be cherished as a wonderful experience when we think about it during our old age when we won't be able to travel
further
.
Hence
I would like to conclude
that there are more benefits by
travelling more often.Change preposition
to
Submitted by pauljoshisurendar on
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task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention particular trails, locations, or historical facts that reinforce your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking your ideas with more variety in transition words and phrases. This could help the essay flow more naturally and logically from one point to another.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay remains formal by avoiding conversational phrases. Instead of saying 'call themselves as vloggers,' you could say 'identify as vloggers.'
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the aim of the essay and sets a clear direction for the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion nicely summarizes the points and gives a clear closing statement, reinforcing the benefits of traveling.
coherence cohesion
Good variety in sentence structure, which keeps the reader engaged.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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