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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In today's world,
people
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 are faced with an overwhelming number of
options
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 in almost every aspect of life. Some argue that
this
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 abundance can be exhausting,
while
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 others believe it offers more freedom and satisfaction. I agree with the statement that we have too many
choices
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 nowadays, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
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both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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more benefits
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then
Replace the word
than
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 drawbacks. On the one hand, having numerous alternatives can lead to decision fatigue and anxiety.
For instance
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, when buying a simple item like a phone, one may encounter a variety of brands, models, and features.
This
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 plethora of
options
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 can make the decision-making process difficult, causing stress and concerns about making the wrong choice.
Additionally
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, an excess of
choices
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 can result in wasted time.
For example
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,based on data provided by The University of Canada in 2019, 70% of respondents: spending hours searching for and comparing products online can create a feeling of being overwhelmed, ultimately reducing the satisfaction derived from making a decision,10,000
people
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 aged 25-40 took part in the survey.
On the other hand
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, a wide range of
choices
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 allows
people
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 to find the most suitable
options
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 for their needs and preferences.
This
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 is particularly evident in fields like education and careers, where a variety of paths helps individuals pursue their interests and develop their talents.
Furthermore
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, access to a broad spectrum of goods and services promotes competition among companies, which leads to better quality and lower prices for consumers.
For example
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, on the social recurse provided by American University, the average number of items in 2000 was 2,000 units, by 2020
this
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 number had increased to 10,000.
Accordingly
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, consumers in 2020 have a wider choice of products and manufacturers. In conclusion,
while
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 having numerous
options
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 can sometimes cause confusion and make decision-making difficult, it
also
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 enables
people
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 to find solutions that best suit them and encourages competition and innovation.
Therefore
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, it is important to strike a balance between providing a reasonable range of
choices
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 and avoiding excessive variety.

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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas flow logically from one to the next. Try to make transitions between points smoother to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
While your examples are relevant, make sure they are clearly connected to the main points and are fully elaborated. Describe how they specifically support your argument to improve the comprehensiveness of your ideas.
general
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and sentence structure to enhance clarity. For example, correct the sentence “For example, based on data provided by The University of Canada in 2019, 70% of respondents: spending hours searching for and comparing products online can create a feeling of being overwhelmed, ultimately reducing the satisfaction derived from making a decision,10,000 people aged 25-40 took part in the survey.”
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well. This helps in presenting a structured response to the question.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument which shows a balanced view on the given topic. This enhances your task achievement as it shows a comprehensive understanding of the issue.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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