Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this develomeng bring more advantages or disadvantages.
It has become more popular to depend on
machines
for tasks that used to be conducted by hand. There are more advantages than disadvantages, for it provides people
with more free time
and a satisfactory lifestyle
regardless of some potential risk that modern technology
makes people
lazier.
On the one hand, machines
replacing more people
's work brings about an incredible benefit since they free people
from many responsibilities. In other words
, people
no longer have to be tied up with menial jobs such
as cleaning dishes and floors themselves as modern technology
is used to complete these tasks by using specialized sensors and sophisticated programs. For instance
, the latest vacuum cleaner called "Rumba" can get rid of the smallest dust on a floor as it automatically moves and even charges itself.This
allows people
to enjoy more free time
without worrying about their duties, making them more satisfied as they are able to spend more time
travelling and watching movies.
On the other hand
, growing reliance on machines
sometimes brings a negative consequence as it can lead to the loss of physical workloads, promoting unhealthy habits. Indeed, the amount of exercise of humans has reduced dramatically as they are more dependent on technology
. For example
, depending on Rumba for cleaning a floor deprives people
of ten minutes of physical work each day, promoting a more sedentary lifestyle
, which leads to obesity and other diseases. Furthermore
, using technology
not only discourages them from having a healthy lifestyle
but also
getting motivated to do small tasks, which results in spending more time
eating snacks and sleeping on a couch instead
.
In conclusion, the advantage outweighs the disadvantages as people
are able to enjoy a more relaxing and exciting lifestyle
without being restricted to chores. However
, excessive reliance on machines
promotes a sedentary lifestyle
, which creates more health issues.Submitted by mizuho on
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task achievement
To strengthen your task achievement, consider incorporating specific and detailed statistics or studies that can further substantiate your points. This will make your argument even more compelling.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is quite coherent, linking phrases such as 'furthermore' and 'on the contrary' can always enhance the flow of ideas. This helps to consistently guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing both advantages and disadvantages of increased machine usage.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, effectively framing the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
You have utilized relevant examples like the 'Rumba' vacuum cleaner to support your main points, which strengthens your argument considerably.
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