IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

people say that traditional in-class teaching will be entirely replaced by online teaching by 2050. do you think that would be good?

6.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Ever since the introduction of online learning in 2020,
students
Use synonyms
 and parents have gotten a taste of what it is like to learn using nothing but computers and devices. It provided many advantages during its time
as well as
Linking Words
 disadvantages.
Although
Linking Words
 when we take it into account, I believe that online learning will not replace traditional classroom-based education since it proves to be more harmful than advantageous.
Body paragraph 1
Traditional
in-class
Use synonyms
 teaching has always been favoured for numerous reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
in-class
Use synonyms
 teaching is a more effective teaching environment, because it is proven that
students
Use synonyms
 retain information more clearly and longer when
present
Wrong verb form
presented
show examples
 in a classroom. Not only does
in-class
Use synonyms
 teaching allow
students
Use synonyms
 to understand material better
due to
Linking Words
 easier access to teachers to ask questions to, but
Linking Words
also it
Correct word order
it also
show examples
 builds other
skills
Use synonyms
 in
students
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as social
skills
Use synonyms
, communication
skills
Use synonyms
, time management
skills
Use synonyms
 and develops a sense of responsibility.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Traditional
in-class
Use synonyms
 teaching provides better flexibility to both teachers and
students
Use synonyms
 because it allows for other methods of teaching and explanation.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, online teaching has not proven to be lucrative.
Firstly
Linking Words
, online teaching creates frustration for teachers because it does not create an adequate teaching environment that makes
students
Use synonyms
 pay closer attention to the material taught.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, online teaching opens a gateway for academic dishonesty in
students
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 easier and unmonitored access to cheating and plagiarism methods during tests and assignments. To add on to that, online teaching gives rise to multiple obstacles in the teaching environment
due to
Linking Words
digital related
Correct your spelling
digital-related
 issues
such
Linking Words
 as wifi issues, device constraints , and teaching material limitations.
Conclusion
Teaching has been a physically taught medium for centuries, and trying to replace it entirely with online teaching will not be easy nor advantageous. The multiple
skills
Use synonyms
 and experiences that
students
Use synonyms
 miss out on with online teaching are many, and it's important that people remember that in relation to the educational quality of
students
Use synonyms
 worldwide.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
State your answer more directly in the first paragraph. Say clearly that you do not think full online teaching would be good.
task response
Explain why each main point matters. For example, show how less face-to-face talk can harm students’ social growth and learning.
task response
Use one or two clear real-life examples. You could describe a student who cannot ask for help at once during an online lesson, or a class test where cheating is easier.
task response
Be careful with broad claims such as “it is proven”. Give a reason or an example, or use softer words such as “many students may remember more in a classroom”.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: classroom teaching, online teaching, then a final view. Keep this strong plan.
coherence and cohesion
Make the links between ideas more exact. Instead of “To add on to that”, use “In addition” or “Another problem is”.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences have too many ideas. Split them into shorter sentences so the reader can follow your point more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Use the same key terms throughout. For example, choose “traditional classroom teaching” and “online learning”, rather than changing the names too often.
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph repeats your view, but it could be stronger by briefly restating the two main reasons: better learning support and better social development.
task response
You give a clear view that fully online teaching would have more harm than good.
task response
You include relevant points about teacher help, social skills, cheating, and device or internet problems.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has a clear main focus, which makes the essay easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “To begin with”, “On the other hand”, and “Furthermore” to guide the reader.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: