Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#year #languages #people #life #world

this

contemporary society, every year a couple of

languages

cease to exist.

As a result

, some individuals believe that

this

is a positive thing because life would be much simpler if there were fewer

languages

However

, I completely disagree with

this

view and will explain in detail my viewpoint

further

in the essay.

Firstly

languages

conserve

customs

Correct article usage

the customs

show examples

and culture of any nation and play a significant part in the formation of nations.

Therefore

, the conservation of

languages

would be crucial owing to the fact that they preserve the experiences of all generations in the past and with the disappearance of

such

knowledge, we could lose some valuable information about our history. One

such

example is the discovery of America, which resulted in the enforcement of European

languages

Change preposition

show examples

the natives.

As a result

this

, many ancient American civilizations are a mystery for scientists even to

this

day.

Secondly

, it is well known that language plays a pivotal role in science as it serves as a way of preserving information.

Hence

, the extinction of

languages

would hinder the international development of science, because with a lost language, people

also

lose data that were collected throughout its existence.

For instance

, with the Roman takeover of Egypt, Ancient Egyptian became extinct and much knowledge about Egyptian medicine was lost hindering the development of the world at that time. In conclusion, considering all the previously mentioned information, the role of

languages

is pivotal. With the disappearance of

this

, we would lose the customs and culture of many nations,

also

scientific knowledge will be

also

lost that was collected throughout human history.

Submitted by dnm.best on Thu Jan 18 2024

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coherence cohesion

To enhance the logical structure of your essay, make sure to provide clear and distinct paragraphs, each dealing with a separate aspect of your argument. Use transitional phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.

coherence cohesion

While your introduction and conclusion are present and well-structured, consider adding a restatement of your main points in the conclusion to strengthen their impact and clearly signal the essay's closure.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with more varied and specific examples. This could include citing studies, historical events, or statistics to substantiate your claims, which adds credibility to your argument.

task achievement

Ensure that your response directly addresses all parts of the task throughout the essay. You have partially achieved this, but could improve by assessing the implications of having fewer languages in more depth and directly linking it to the essay topic.

task achievement

Clarify and expand upon your ideas to avoid general statements. Providing detailed explanations and elaborations of how exactly language loss impacts the culture and history would make your argument more comprehensive.

task achievement

Incorporate more relevant and specific examples into your argument. While some examples are given, choosing well-known or easily relatable instances would enhance the persuasive power of your essay.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Linguistic diversity
Cultural heritage
Language extinction
Communication barrier
Linguistic imperialism
Endangered languages
Language revitalization
Monolingual
Multilingual
Language preservation
Homogenization
Language policy
Cultural assimilation
Intangible heritage
Indigenous languages
Globalization
Dialects
Localization
Language documentation
Digital archiving

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