IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Parents are the best teachers. Do you agree or disagree?

#parents #teachers
We consider our family the first school we graduated from
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because we
didn’t
Verb problem
weren’t
show examples
 actually
involve
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
 with outside society until
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
, and
that is
 why our
parents
 become the first and the only sources
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our knowledge ,manners and ethics
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the one hand,
parents
 become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
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 unconsciously to us, we
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 ourselves
imitate
Wrong verb form
imitating
show examples
 them in everything , their trades ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 talking styles even their words and their ways
to express
Change preposition
of expressing
show examples
 and
explain
Wrong verb form
explaining
show examples
 somethings .
And
Correct word choice
This
show examples
this
 relationship may extend to reach illness, to sure up
this
 point you can search for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great
theory
Fix the agreement mistake
theories
show examples
such
 as Odeeb or
Elicta
Correct your spelling
Electa
. those
theory
Change the determiner
theories
show examples
 are talking about how
this
 relationship could turn one day
to be
Verb problem
into
show examples
 a curse. what I meant,
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 children learn many things from their
parents
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 in their earlier years ,and
start up
Add a hyphen
start-up
show examples
 to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
diverse knowledge from the communities
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 age 12 ,
then
 they start
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to build their own characters, and choose what is appropriate to them ,and get rid of the others.
In addition
,
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 should be aware of
this
 point, and never break their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 trust ,
on the contrary
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 should
built
Change the verb form
build
be built
show examples
this
 trust and
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
 constantly.
At the end
 of
this
 debate , I would like to
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
parents
 to be active in their children’s
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
,
don’t
Verb problem
not
show examples
telling
Wrong verb form
tell
show examples
 orders to teach them but they should be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
, and
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
always right and reasonable
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
Submitted by Mido  on

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task response
The essay acknowledges the topic but would benefit from a more direct engagement with the prompt. Clearly state your position (agree/disagree) and outline your main points in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea which contributes to your overall argument. This will help present a structured, coherent argument.
task response
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. Personal examples, anecdotes, or references to studies would add depth to your arguments.
task response
The essay introduces several important aspects about the influence of parents on children, such as role modeling and trust-building, which align well with the task prompt.
task response
The attempt to include references to theories (though misspelled) shows an effort to support the argument with some scholarly touch.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion encourages active parental involvement, providing a useful recommendation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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